In modern cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbor and never feel a sense of community. What are the causes of this situation? How can we change it?
Sample Response
In an era when a growing proportion of the population lives in urban regions, the phenomenon that residents tend to be unfamiliar with their neighbors and lack a sense of community and belonging has become a widespread concernsparked an intense debate. From my perspective, the prevalence of the Internet and urbanization trends may contribute to this phenomenon. In order to address it, the government should take immediate and effective measures. To begin with, there is no denying that the popularity of the Internet and portable digital devices, including mobile phones, tablets and laptops, weakens relationships among neighbors. With their convenience and efficiency in communication, individuals have become accustomedget accustomed to utilizing mobile phones to interact with their friends or family membersfamilies, which can transcend geographical and temporal barriers. However, online chatting characterized by insufficient face-to-face communication may impair people’s abilitycapabilities to distinguish others’ emotions through subtle facial expressions and body languagegestures. Therefore, when people want to socialize with their neighbors, they tend to ignore their genuine feelings. Besides, excessive screen timedigital indulgence means that usersnetizens are immersed in the virtual world and activities such as scrolling through short videos, playing games and chatting with strangers, reducing their free time for offline communication with neighbors. More importantly, due to the configuration of modern cities and the structure of buildingsstructure of buildings, it is difficult for citizens to become acquainted with their neighbors. Undoubtedly, compared to the past when dwellers inhabited bungalows with large public spaces, contemporary cities are packed with apartments and skyscrapers where individual privacy comes at the expense of shared spaces that foster interpersonal connectionswhere people’s privacy is being strengthened at the expense of public areas for social interaction to promote interpersonal relationships. First and foremost, the government can allocate more funds towards the construction of community centers with more amenities, which can enable neighbors to engage in communal activities and get to know one anothermake acquaintances with each other. Local authorities could also launch community-based initiatives to encourage in-person interaction, for example by organising neighbourhood festivals, volunteer programmes and market days to bring residents together.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively addresses both parts of the prompt, providing clear causes for urban isolation and sensible solutions to foster community spirit. Paragraph structure is generally logical, and the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary alongside a good range of complex grammatical structures. To achieve a higher score, the solutions paragraph should be expanded to match the depth of the analysis provided in the body paragraph on causes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main causes are fully developed with clear supporting explanations, while the proposed solutions are directly relevant to the prompt.
Provide more balanced development by elaborating further on the practical implementation and impacts of the proposed solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Cohesion and progression are well maintained throughout the essay using a range of linking devices and logical paragraphing.
Ensure better balance in paragraph lengths to give equal weight to both the causes and solutions.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic-specific vocabulary and sophisticated collocations is used flexibly to convey precise meanings.
Refine occasional word choices to ensure phrases sound completely natural and idiomatic in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex sentence structures is used accurately with high grammatical control throughout the response.
Focus on checking longer complex sentences to eliminate minor punctuation and clause structures that feel slightly overloaded.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In modern cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbor and never feel a sense of community. What are the causes of this situation? How can we change it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.