In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
Sample Response
In recent years, paying for goods and services through mobile phone apps has become a widespread phenomenon in many countries. While there are some disadvantages associated with this development, I believe that the advantages outweigh them.
One possible disadvantage of paying withusing mobile phones is the riskpotential risk of fraud and cybercrime. Hackers and cybercriminals can steal personal information and access people's accounts, leading to financial losses and other serious consequences. For example, a person using a mobile payment app might receive a phishing email that appears to come fromlooks like it’s from the app provider, prompting them to click on a link and enter their login details. If they fall for this scam, hackers could gain access to their account and make unauthorized transactions, causing financial loss and identity theftleading to financial loss and potential identity theft.
By contrastOn the contrary, the key benefit of using mobile phone apps for payment is convenience and speedswiftness. With this method, customers no longer have to carry cash or cards with them, which reduceseliminates the risk of losing them. The process of paying using a mobile phone is very fast and can be done from anywhere. This can save people a lot of time and hassle, especially in busy cities where carrying a lot of cash or credit cards can be inconvenient or risky. For example, when travelling on public transport in a busy city, a person can simply use their phone to scan a QR code and pay their farepay for their fare instantly, without needing to fumble through their wallet for cash or cards. This quick and hassle-free transaction not only saves time but also reduces the riskchances of losing cash or cards while navigating crowded areas.
In conclusion, the advantages of using mobile phone apps for payments far outweigh the disadvantages. This method of payment is convenient, secure, and provides benefits for people. As technology continues to advance, it is likely that mobile phone payments will become even more popular in the future.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear, consistent judgement, supported by detailed and relevant examples of both cyber risk and payment convenience. Its main limitation is slight imbalance and repetition: the convenience example is extended at length, while the conclusion calls mobile payments secure without reconciling that claim with the fraud discussion. Prioritise a sharper comparative explanation of why the benefits outweigh the identified risk.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear position, and develops both the principal disadvantage and advantage with specific examples.
Make the weighing explicit by explaining why convenience and reduced reliance on cash are more significant than the cybersecurity risk.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised, and ideas progress clearly within and between paragraphs with effective referencing and linking.
Condense the extended transport example slightly and connect the final security claim back to the earlier fraud discussion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise across payments, cybersecurity, fraud, and convenience, with occasional repetition or less natural choices.
Vary repeated terms such as “cash or cards” and replace general phrases such as “provides benefits for people” with more exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor lapses that do not affect communication.
Maintain the strong control while tightening long explanatory sentences so their main clauses remain immediately clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.