Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Compared with people in the past, we concern far less on the preparation of food today, thanks to the development of agriculture and scientific technology. A fair amount of beneficial influence is occurring to us consequently.
The first to be benefited are travellers. It has been much probable for one to carry out the plan of a trip or expedition to remote areas. As a matter of fact, a diverse type of food are designed for outdoor trips, for example, compressed biscuit. Without worrying about starving, a man can push it to the limit wherever he would like to go -- Mount Everest or the South Pole. For most common people, it has been realistic to put their energy mainly on other aspects, work or interest, rather than what to have for meals. Some prefer working all the time in order to earn as much money as they can. Others develop their interests or hobbies like sports, music instruments, or photographing. Whatever people choose to spend time on, they feel their lives are satisfying and fulfilling. Attitude toward life matures as well. Humans are no longer bothered with the preparation of food. Our focus now is to improve the standard of life: how to make things more effective? Thus, numerous significant achievements have taken place recently in every subject. Sciences and technologies, arts and humanities are swiftly striding forward and still accelerating. Therefore, without concerning about food preparation, the pattern of human evolvement changes fundamentally. To conclude, the benefits to both individuals and the whole human race is clearly demonstrated. And I believe that food preparation will account for even less in our lives in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb construction Original: we concern far less on Suggested revision: we are far less concerned with Why it matters: The passive adjective construction takes “with,” not “concern on.”
- 2. Fix number agreement Original: a diverse type of food are designed Suggested revision: diverse types of food are designed Why it matters: The plural verb requires the plural head noun “types.”
- 3. Use plural example Original: biscuit Suggested revision: biscuits Why it matters: The countable food item requires a plural form when used as a general example.
- 4. Use concise noun Original: starving Suggested revision: starvation Why it matters: The noun “starvation” is the more concise formal expression.
- 5. Clarify the traveller Original: a man can push it Suggested revision: a traveller can travel Why it matters: The replacement removes the gendered generalisation and the unclear pronoun “it.”
- 6. Use natural quantifier Original: most common people Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: “Common people” does not naturally mean the majority of people in this context.
- 7. Use suitable complement Original: it has been realistic Suggested revision: it has become possible Why it matters: “Possible” correctly describes the feasibility of redirecting time and energy.
- 8. Clarify the alternatives Original: other aspects, work or interest Suggested revision: other areas, such as work or personal interests Why it matters: The replacement makes the examples parallel and clearly connected to the broader category.
- 9. Restore parallel structure Original: rather than what to have for meals Suggested revision: rather than on deciding what to eat Why it matters: Repeating the preposition and using a gerund creates a grammatical comparison.
- 10. Use adjective form Original: music Suggested revision: musical Why it matters: “Musical” is the adjective used to classify instruments.
- 11. Name the hobby Original: photographing Suggested revision: photography Why it matters: “Photography” is the noun for the hobby listed alongside sports and music.
- 12. Use plural possessive idea Original: Attitude toward life matures Suggested revision: People’s attitudes toward life mature Why it matters: The plural subject makes clear whose attitudes develop and agrees with the verb.
Suggested Rewrites
- we concern far less on we are far less concerned with
- a diverse type of food are designed diverse types of food are designed
- biscuit biscuits
- starving starvation
- a man can push it a traveller can travel
- most common people most people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear affirmative answer and develops several relevant benefits, with the travel example providing its most concrete support. The argument becomes overgeneralised and loses focus when it links easier food preparation to progress across all fields, while frequent awkward collocations reduce precision; the priority is to organise two well-supported benefits in separate paragraphs and express them in more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant benefits are explained, although later claims about broad human progress are overgeneralised and insufficiently supported.
Develop two plausible benefits with specific cause-and-effect explanation instead of extending the argument to sweeping claims about human advancement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally progress from travellers to wider personal benefits and a conclusion, but one oversized paragraph and some abrupt shifts weaken organisation.
Separate the traveller example, everyday time savings, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of ambitious vocabulary, but recurrent inaccurate collocations and word forms make the expression unnatural.
Prioritise precise natural combinations such as "worry less about food preparation," "musical instruments," and "human development."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is used, but errors in agreement, articles, complements, and verb forms occur throughout.
Edit systematically for subject-verb agreement and verb patterns, especially forms such as "a diverse range of foods is" and "without worrying about."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.