Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
It is claimed that music has the power to transcend cultural and age boundaries, and it is often promoted as a way to bring people together. However, I disagree with thisthe opinion because I believe that its ability to genuinely unite peopletruly bring people together is limited and often overestimated.
Music is not an effective means of uniting people because people have different musical tastes, and not all genres of music are universally popular. For instance, while some people may enjoy listening to classical music, others may prefer hip-hop or heavy metalhip-hop or heavy metal music. Therefore, instead of promoting unity, music may create greater social divisionfurther division among people. In fact, some genres of music may even promote negative stereotypes and prejudices, which could lead to further disunity among people.
Furthermore, there are more effective waysFurthermore, there are other more effective ways of bringing people of different cultures and generations together than music doestogether rather than music, such as through cultural festivals, sporting events, or community service projects. These activities allow people to work towards a common goal and foster unity and community spiritpromote a sense of unity and community spirit. For instance, volunteering at a local soup kitchen or participating in a community cleanup can bring people of different backgrounds together and foster a sense of shared belongingsense of togetherness. So in a sense, such events and programmes are more effective at bringingmore powerful in bringing people of different ages and cultures together than music.
In conclusion, while music can certainly be an enjoyable activityenjoyable and entertaining activity, I do not believe that it is a reliable means of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. Rather, there are more effective waysRather, there are other more effective ways of promoting unity and community spirit that should be encouraged.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear, consistent disagreement and develops it through logically organised reasons and relevant examples, with highly controlled language throughout. Its main limitation is that the claim about music promoting stereotypes is asserted briefly, and the repeated language of unity and bringing people together slightly reduces lexical variety. Prioritise deepening that counterargument with a concrete mechanism or example while trimming repeated phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported by two well-developed lines of reasoning, although the stereotype claim receives limited explanation.
Explain how a particular musical context might reinforce division, or remove that minor claim and deepen the stronger musical-taste argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced logically in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without obscuring progression.
Tighten the transition into the alternative-activities paragraph so its comparative purpose is immediately explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with effective phrases such as transcend cultural boundaries and foster a sense of togetherness, despite some repetition.
Vary repeated references to bringing people together with concise alternatives such as building social cohesion or connecting communities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with only rare minor lapses that do not affect communication.
As a refinement, vary sentence openings and keep comparative structures as concise as the rest of the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.