Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In an era when the crimecriminal rates among young people are increasing significantly, the question of whether the government should impose the same penalties on younger individuals as on adultsthe same penalties as adults on younger individuals has sparked an intense debate. From my perspective, juvenile delinquents should be punished with multiple measures, including imprisonment and voluntary work in the local communitylocal community. Adults who commit crimes are more likely to be sentenced to prison. It is reasonable to punish young people who pose a danger to societywho are detrimental to society severely with strict imprisonment. Imprisoning themSending them to prisons can help them reflect on their actionsreflect their own conscience and realize their own errors since they are deprived of their freedomtheir freedom is deprived for a period of time. FurthermoreBesides, the deprivation of their freedom can deter them from committing crimes again and guarantee the security of people and their propertyproperties. There is no denying that it is impossible for prisoners to escape from prison to break the law againreoffend the laws. However, teenagers' minds are not fully developed. They are easily influenced by peers and online mediainformation, so they cannot clearly consider the negative consequences of their actionsacts. Most of them fail to recognise how harmful their behaviour can be. If they receive the same punishment as adult criminals, they will lose the opportunity to become law-abiding individuals. Young people are able to reform themselves through education. Harsh adult prisons may increase their aggression rather than reformreforming their conduct. Many juvenile offenders merely makecommit foolish mistakes, and they still have the possibility to become valuable members of society. In conclusion, although serious crimescrime need strict punishment, we cannot treat all young criminals the same as adults. We should consider their age and mental development when we make sentencing decisionsthe decision.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear, nuanced position on how juvenile offenders should be treated, effectively addressing the main requirements of the prompt with relevant supporting arguments. While the ideas are organized logically and express meaning clearly, the development of cohesive devices and vocabulary precision could be refined further. To improve, focus on using more varied linking phrases and choosing more precise word combinations throughout your paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You take a clear position that partially agrees with punishing serious youth crime strictly while emphasizing the need for age-appropriate rehabilitation.
Ensure all main ideas mentioned in the introduction, such as community service, are explicitly developed within the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and the main message flows well from paragraph to paragraph.
Vary your transition signals beyond basic connectors like 'besides' and 'however' to create smoother links between sentences.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used to discuss crime and rehabilitation.
Refine natural word partnerships to avoid minor collocation slips such as 'reoffend the laws' or 'reflect their own conscience'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You demonstrate control over a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with mostly accurate grammar.
Check prepositions and article choices carefully to eliminate minor errors like 'in local community' or 'the criminal rates'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.