Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In an era when the rate of juvenile crime is rising, the question of whether teenage offenders should receive the same punishment as adults has sparked intense debate. From my perspective, juvenile delinquentsdelinquent should be punished with different sanctionssanction. On the one hand, young peopleFrom my perspective, young people who commit serious crimes should face proper sanctions. Some teenagers carry out terrible offences and seriously harm innocent people. If they only receive lenient punishment, they may fail to realise their mistakes and reoffend in the future. Adult-level penaltiesEquivalent penalties can stop them from committing crimes and warn them about the consequences of breaking the law. Moreover, this helps other young people respect the law. When teenagers realise the severe repercussions of illegal acts, this deters potential criminals from violating laws. Tough punishment can protect ordinary residents in communities and make the public feel safe. It is almost impossible for offendersculprits to escape from prison, which guarantees people’s safety and propertypersonal safety and property. Without severe punishment, many young offenders would ignore laws and hurt others without fear. However, teenagers’ minds are not fully developed. They are easily influenced by peers and online information and cannot fully appreciatecannot clearly consider the negative outcomes of their actions. Most of them do not truly understand how harmful their behaviour is. If we punish them in the same way as adult criminals, they will lose the opportunity to become law-abiding citizens. Education can help young people change. Adult prisons may make these youngsters more violent rather than reforming them. Many teenage offenders just make errors in judgement, and they still have the potential to become valuable members of society. In conclusion, although serious crimescrime need strict punishment, we cannot treat all young criminals the same as adults. We should consider their age and mental development when we determining sentencesmake the decision.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and well-reasoned position on juvenile justice, balancing the need for deterrence with the necessity of rehabilitation. Ideas are logically organised across paragraphs, and the vocabulary effectively conveys key concepts despite a few minor grammatical lapses. To elevate the writing further, the candidate should address occasional singular/plural agreement errors and ensure body paragraphs maintain a completely aligned focus on the core prompt.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, establishing a nuanced stance that acknowledges both the need for strict penalties and the importance of youth rehabilitation.
Ensure the argument in the first body paragraph clearly supports the thesis statement rather than temporarily advocating for adult-level punishments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically with clear paragraphing and effective use of basic cohesive devices throughout.
Use a wider variety of advanced transition words and phrase linkages to connect ideas more smoothly between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific vocabulary and flexible phrasing with only minor inaccuracies.
Incorporate more natural collocations and varied word choices when discussing legal consequences and rehabilitation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is produced with generally good control, though noticeable minor errors occur.
Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and noun form accuracy, particularly with singular and plural nouns.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.