The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
In recent times, work-lifeIn recent times work-life balance is a pressing issue in society and many individualsa lot of people suffer from burnout as a result of demanding working schedules. Some argue that theThere is a statement that the working week should be reduced and employees should have a longer weekend. I strongly agree with this opinion, as long working hours strain individuals' physical and mental health; they also contribute; also, it contributes to the shortage of time for leisure activities and social interactions.
Lengthy shifts increase the risk of mental health deterioration, such as escalatingdeterioration, namely escalating stress levels, severe depression, as well as poor physical health,depression and also poor physical conditions, which stem from a prolonged sedentary lifestyle. For example, those who work in executive positions, such as managers,positions, namely managers and remote workers, are expected to have longer working schedules , which seriously deteriorates their health and often leads to motivational loss and hinderedhinders career advancement.
Furthermore, longer weekends encourage people to lead a healthier lifestyle,follow a more productive lifestyle, such as participatingparticipate in essential fitness programs, includingnamely pilates and yoga classes, as well as socializeyoga classes , as well as, socialize with friends and family members by attending social gatherings. Dedicating a significant amount of time to relaxation activities improves work-life balance and provides a vital escape from the challenging working world.
In conclusion, even though long shifts offer certain financial advantages,a lot of benefits to a person, namely high salaries and more chances of career advancement and self-improvement, I still strongly believe that longer weekends are more essential for society, as they leadleads to a stable way of life without extra stress and lack of leisure time and social interactionpersonal communications.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear position throughout, offering relevant arguments regarding health benefits and leisure time to support a shorter workweek. Paragraphing is logical, though the introduction of counterarguments in the conclusion creates minor inconsistency. To reach a higher standard, ensure all ideas are fully developed with specific evidence and eliminate minor grammatical slips in subject-verb agreement and punctuation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees with the prompt and supports its position with relevant main points regarding health and leisure time.
Fully elaborate on how a shorter workweek maintains or boosts workplace productivity instead of relying on generalized examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into paragraph topics with clear overall progression throughout.
Avoid introducing new concessionary ideas in the conclusion to maintain unified paragraph cohesion.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used accurately to discuss work-life balance and health.
Refine word choices to avoid minor repetition and ensure word pairs fit context precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is produced, though minor errors in agreement and punctuation occur.
Proofread carefully for subject-verb agreement and correct comma placement around linking structures.