The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
In recent times, work-life balance has become a pressing issue in society, and manysociety and many individuals suffer from burnout as a result of demanding working schedules. Some argue that the working week should be reduced and employees should have a longer weekend. I strongly agree with this opinion, as long working hours compromise employees'strain individuals' physical and mental health while also contributing to a lack of timethe shortage of time for leisure activities and social interactions.
Excessive working hoursLengthy shifts increase the risk of mental health deterioration, including heightened stress, severe depression, and impaired physical healthsuch as escalating stress levels, severe depression, as well as poor physical health, which stemsstem from a prolonged sedentary lifestyle. For instance, managers and corporate professionals are often expected to maintain exhausting schedules, which impairs their physical well-being and diminishes long-term motivation.
Furthermore, longer weekends encourage people to adoptpursue a healthier lifestyle by participating in fitness activities, such as Pilatespilates and yoga, as well as socializing with friends and family. Dedicating a significant amount of time to rest and recreation improves work-life balance and provides a vital escape from the pressure of the workplace.
In conclusion, even though long shifts offer certain financial advantagesfinancial advantages ,a lot of benefits to a person, namely high salaries and more chances of career advancement and self-improvement, I still strongly believe that longer weekends are far more importantmore essential for society, as they lead to a stable way of life without excessive stress or a lack of leisure timedeficit of leisure time and social interactionsinteraction.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and consistent position supported by well-reasoned arguments regarding mental health and work-life balance. Vocabulary and grammatical structures are generally sophisticated and used with good control throughout the text. To enhance the overall quality, the writer should expand the body paragraphs slightly to meet the minimum word count and refine a few minor punctuation and phrasing issues in the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main points are relevant and the position is consistent, but the response falls slightly short of the 250-word requirement.
Elaborate further on the supporting examples to ensure the essay meets the recommended word length.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas flow smoothly across the essay using effective transition words.
Ensure cohesive devices in the final paragraph connect ideas smoothly without feeling clumsy.
Lexical Resource
A good range of natural, topic-specific vocabulary is used accurately to convey complex ideas.
Maintain precise word choices in the concluding sentence to avoid slight awkwardness in phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures are controlled effectively with only minor punctuation flaws.
Review spacing and comma placement around clause boundaries to maintain perfect mechanical accuracy.