The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many employees expect to gain a shorter working weekweek time and a longer weekend. Personally, I totally agree with Deletethat workers should be given more leisure time because it not only benefits individuals' health but also contributes to the sustainable development offor the companies.
From the perspective of individualindividuals workers, their relaxing time is constantly declining because of the heavier stress of daily lifestress for living and their employers' high demand for KPIs. With the economicEconomic situation worseningshifting worse, workers need to do more overtime work to gain a higher incomemore salaries in order to support their families. At the same time, bosses make higher profit objectives that are hardthat hard to achieve, leading to heavier workloadsmuch more workloads for their employees. For example, a significantly increasing number of IT corporationscooperations maintain long overtime working, making their workers very tired. It has negative effects onmakes negative effects to both workers' physical and mental health. Therefore, workers need more time to relax, develop their own hobbies, and be with their families.
From a business perspective, providing enough time for employees to rest is essential for their sustainable development. Many papers have revealed that the working conditionscondition could really make a difference to workers' passion and motivation forof work, which is directly connected with companies' profits. Furthermore，a longer weekend could improve workers' satisfaction withof their companies, making them more willing to work for their bosses. It means the staff turnover ratelabor changing rate of the company would be low, which is essential for the sustainable development of a company.
In conclusion, I fully agree with the demand of workersrequirement of worker that they need more weekendweekends time to rest. It not only helps improve workers' quality of lifeliving qualities, but also maintains sustainable improvement of the companies.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear and consistent position supported by well-reasoned arguments focusing on individual well-being and corporate benefits. However, persistent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing detract from the overall clarity and sophistication of the writing. To reach a higher standard, focus on improving grammatical accuracy—particularly clause structures and prepositions—and refine word choice for a more natural academic tone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the prompt with a clear position and supports its main points logically across both individual and business perspectives.
Provide more specific examples to further substantiate how a reduced workweek directly impacts business productivity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress smoothly overall, though transitions between sentences could be more refined.
Use a wider variety of linking phrases to connect ideas more naturally within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good attempt is made to use topic-specific vocabulary, but there are several awkward word choices and unnatural collocations.
Work on natural phrasing and precise collocations, such as replacing 'labor changing rate' with 'employee turnover rate'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While a variety of complex structures are attempted, frequent grammatical errors in sentence structure, prepositions, and agreement are present throughout.
Review complex clause constructions to eliminate structural mistakes like 'agree with that workers should be given'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.