Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is often argued that school children should go to single sex schools, while other would say that males and females get the most out of integrated schools. This essay will argue that despite there being some social benefits to females and males going to the same school, the academic advantages of educating them separately make it more worthwhile. Many feel that mixing both sexes at school helps to develop social skills and makes people less awkward around the opposite sex later in life. This is especially true for males, who often find it difficult to approach and talk to women socially if they don’t get used to it first in the classroom. For example, the Sunday Times recently reported that men who did not have regular social contact with girls when they were growing up are 68% more likely to suffer from anxiety when in the company of females. Despite the argument above, it is difficult to argue with the fact that single-sex schools consistently top examination league tables. In nearly every area of the United Kingdom, the top schools only allow boys or girls to attend and this may lead to higher grades because students can focus exclusively on their studies. Personally, I went to a school for both boys and girls and found that I had to deal with many more distractions compared to friends who attended the local boys-only college. In conclusion, integrating the sexes can prevent social awkwardness later in life and make pupils more sociable in the company of other genders, but a school’s primary purpose is to educate and those with just one sex or the other outperform those that allow both.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural pronoun Original: other Suggested revision: others Why it matters: The plural pronoun 'others' is required to refer to another group of people.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: make it more worthwhile Suggested revision: make separate schooling more worthwhile Why it matters: Naming 'separate schooling' removes the vague reference of 'it'.
- 3. Use academic phrasing Original: mixing both sexes Suggested revision: educating both sexes together Why it matters: This phrase describes the educational arrangement more precisely.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: talk to women socially Suggested revision: interact socially with women Why it matters: 'Interact socially with' is a more natural collocation in this context.
- 5. Clarify the pronoun Original: get used to it first Suggested revision: first become accustomed to this interaction Why it matters: Replacing 'it' makes the reference to social interaction explicit.
- 6. Specify the contrast Original: Despite the argument above Suggested revision: Despite this social benefit Why it matters: A specific reference creates a clearer transition from the preceding paragraph idea.
- 7. Use precise admission wording Original: only allow boys or girls to attend Suggested revision: admit only boys or only girls Why it matters: 'Admit' is the precise verb for a school's student-entry policy.
- 8. Complete the comparison Original: compared to friends Suggested revision: than did friends Why it matters: This structure correctly compares how many distractions the writer and the friends had.
- 9. Use neutral wording Original: integrating the sexes Suggested revision: educating boys and girls together Why it matters: This wording refers more directly and naturally to mixed schooling.
- 10. Name the school type Original: those with just one sex or the other Suggested revision: single-sex schools Why it matters: The direct term is clearer and more concise than the descriptive phrase.
- 11. Specify mixed schools Original: those that allow both Suggested revision: mixed schools Why it matters: Naming the school type avoids the vague pronoun 'those'.
Suggested Rewrites
- other others
- make it more worthwhile make separate schooling more worthwhile
- mixing both sexes educating both sexes together
- talk to women socially interact socially with women
- get used to it first first become accustomed to this interaction
- Despite the argument above Despite this social benefit
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct, balanced treatment of both views and its consistently clear preference for single-sex education, supported by relevant explanations and examples. The principal limitation is presentation as one continuous block, which slightly obscures the otherwise strong progression of ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to preserve this focused argument while dividing it into clearly purposeful paragraphs and refining the few minor grammatical slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, the writer’s opinion is clear throughout, and each side is developed with relevant explanation and support.
Deepen the comparison slightly by explaining more explicitly why the academic advantage ultimately outweighs the acknowledged social benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically with well-managed referencing and cohesive links, although the lack of visible paragraph breaks weakens structural clarity.
Use distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs so that each stage of the discussion is immediately apparent to the reader.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural, with effective topic-specific choices and only occasional repetition.
Refine repeated references to schools and the sexes with carefully chosen substitutes while maintaining the current precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare minor errors that do not impede communication.
Proofread for isolated agreement slips, particularly constructions such as “other would say,” to make accuracy consistently polished.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.