Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many are of the opinion that the risks for endangered plants and wildlife are the most severe consequences of our worsening environment while others would argue that other problems are more pressing. While I consider the impact of recurring natural disasters to be important, in my opinion the loss of wildlife is the most serious threat to the environment.
The rise in recent catastrophic natural disasters has been strongly linked to climate change. Many scientists have made the case that incremental rises in temperature, specifically involving the oceans, has increased the frequency and potency of hurricanes, tsunamis, and blizzards. There are countless instances of these from the last two decades but the tsunami affecting mainly Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand in 2004 is a particularly striking example. This was the largest natural disaster this century and resulted in thousands of deaths, injuries and billions of dollars in damages, the effects of which set these developing nations back economically for years. People lost their lives, homes, and livelihood in many cases.
The main reason that many people including myself are so focused on plant and animal life is because of the rising number of endangered animals in recent decades. One of the most well-known examples of this is the often cited case of polar bears. Polar bears live mainly in the Arctic and recent melting of the polar ice caps has resulted in reduced ice for polar bears to hunt on. Polar bears have become an endangered species and it is often forecast that by 2100 they will be entirely extinct in the wild. Their extinction will likely have a domino effect on the fragile ecosystems of the arctic and other endangered animals like seals and narwhales. This is just one example of the impact of global warming on animals and plants of our planet. Extinction is irreversible and there is no more lasting impression we can leave than to deplete the world entirely of a species.
In my opinion, the loss of ecological diversity trumps any other environmental concerns. In order to remedy this problem governments and individuals need to take serious steps to not only invest more in conservation efforts for endangered animals but also work towards long term reforms related to fossil fuels, carbon emissions and the other apparent catalysts for climate change.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural subject rises requires the plural verb have.
- 2. Clarify reference Original: instances of these Suggested revision: examples of such disasters Why it matters: This wording gives the plural reference a clear noun.
- 3. Use uncountable damage Original: damages Suggested revision: damage Why it matters: Damage is uncountable when referring generally to destruction or loss.
- 4. Match plural people Original: livelihood Suggested revision: livelihoods Why it matters: The plural people requires the plural livelihoods in this distributive sense.
- 5. Set off parenthesis Original: many people including myself Suggested revision: many people, including myself, Why it matters: Commas correctly mark including myself as a parenthetical phrase.
- 6. Avoid reason redundancy Original: is because of the rising number Suggested revision: is the rising number Why it matters: Using both reason and because creates a redundant structure.
- 7. Capitalise proper name Original: arctic Suggested revision: Arctic Why it matters: The Arctic is a proper geographical name and requires a capital letter.
- 8. Correct spelling Original: narwhales Suggested revision: narwhals Why it matters: Narwhals is the correct spelling of the animal name.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: incremental Suggested revision: gradual Why it matters: Gradual rises is a more natural way to describe temperatures increasing in small stages.
- 10. Clarify past event Original: affecting mainly Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand Suggested revision: which mainly affected Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand Why it matters: A relative clause makes the past reference and its relationship to the tsunami explicit.
- 11. Add definite article Original: recent melting of the polar ice caps Suggested revision: the recent melting of the polar ice caps Why it matters: The specific melting event requires the definite article.
- 12. Remove redundancy Original: entirely extinct Suggested revision: extinct Why it matters: Extinct is absolute, so entirely adds no meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- has have
- instances of these examples of such disasters
- damages damage
- livelihood livelihoods
- many people including myself many people, including myself,
- is because of the rising number is the rising number
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its detailed development, clear position, and confident progression from competing environmental concerns to a reasoned conclusion. The main limitation is that the natural-disaster example is presented as evidence of climate change without sufficiently secure or precise causal support, alongside a few awkward lexical choices and minor agreement errors. Prioritise tighter factual reasoning and more exact collocations so the otherwise sophisticated argument remains fully credible and precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth and a consistent opinion is maintained, though one major example relies on a questionable causal connection.
Use evidence whose relationship to the environmental problem is clearly established and explain that relationship with greater precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices and referencing are managed smoothly throughout.
Refine the transitions between examples and evaluation so the line of reasoning is even more economical.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary is used flexibly, with occasional awkward or imprecise collocations.
Choose more exact academic collocations when describing risk, causation, extinction, and environmental impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, while a few agreement and punctuation errors remain.
Check agreement in long noun phrases and punctuation around extended clauses during final proofreading.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.