Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some individuals argue that the primary environmental concern today is the extinction of certain plant and animal species. Others, however, believe that broader environmental issues, such as climate change and pollution, pose even greater threats. This essay will discuss both perspectives and argue that while the loss of biodiversity is undoubtedly alarming, other environmental problems have more severe and widespread consequences.
On the one hand, the extinction of plant and animal species is a significant issue that disrupts ecosystems. Every species plays a crucial role in maintaining ecological balance, and the disappearance of even a single species can have cascading effects on food chains and natural habitats. For example, the decline in bee populations due to habitat destruction and pesticide use threatens global agriculture, as bees are vital pollinators for many crops.
On the other hand, larger environmental problems, such as climate change and pollution, have far-reaching effects on the planet and human society. Global warming, caused by greenhouse gas emissions, leads to extreme weather conditions, rising sea levels, and desertification, affecting millions of people worldwide. For instance, increasing temperatures are causing glaciers to melt, threatening coastal cities with flooding. Furthermore, pollution, particularly plastic waste and air contamination, directly harms human health and wildlife. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a massive accumulation of plastic debris in the ocean, endangers marine life, while air pollution in urban areas has been linked to respiratory diseases and premature deaths. These issues, in my view, are more urgent because they not only threaten biodiversity but also impact human survival and economic stability.
In conclusion, while the extinction of species is a serious concern, other environmental problems, such as climate change and pollution, pose a more immediate and widespread threat. Addressing these larger issues can also help protect biodiversity, making them a more pressing priority for global efforts.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match task terminology Original: primary Suggested revision: main Why it matters: “Main concern” expresses the ranking in the task more directly than “primary concern”.
- 2. Use precise comparison Original: pose even greater threats Suggested revision: pose even more serious threats Why it matters: “More serious” compares the severity of the threats explicitly.
- 3. Use measured phrasing Original: undoubtedly alarming Suggested revision: a serious concern Why it matters: The revision keeps the evaluation clear while avoiding an unnecessarily emphatic adverb.
- 4. Clarify affected activity Original: threatens global agriculture Suggested revision: threatens agricultural production worldwide Why it matters: The revised phrase identifies the affected productive activity more precisely.
- 5. Use conceptual comparison Original: larger Suggested revision: broader Why it matters: “Broader” better describes problems with a wider range of consequences.
- 6. Name affected systems Original: far-reaching effects on the planet and human society Suggested revision: widespread consequences for ecosystems and human society Why it matters: The revision replaces the vague reference to the planet with a more precise affected system.
- 7. Use standard climate term Original: conditions Suggested revision: events Why it matters: “Extreme weather events” is the conventional expression for floods, storms, and similar occurrences.
- 8. Use natural trend phrase Original: increasing Suggested revision: rising Why it matters: “Rising temperatures” is the more natural collocation for this trend.
- 9. Use consistent term Original: contamination Suggested revision: pollution Why it matters: “Air pollution” is the standard term and matches the later discussion.
- 10. Use stronger verb Original: impact Suggested revision: threaten Why it matters: “Threaten” states the harmful consequence more directly than the neutral verb “impact”.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Addressing these larger issues can also help protect biodiversity, making them a more pressing priority for global efforts. Suggested revision: Addressing these broader issues can also help protect biodiversity, making them more pressing priorities for global action. Why it matters: The plural pronoun “them” requires the plural complement “priorities”.
Suggested Rewrites
- primary main
- pose even greater threats pose even more serious threats
- undoubtedly alarming a serious concern
- threatens global agriculture threatens agricultural production worldwide
- larger broader
- far-reaching effects on the planet and human society widespread consequences for ecosystems and human society
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear comparative judgment and supports both perspectives with specific, well-integrated examples, particularly the links between climate threats, human welfare, and biodiversity. Its main limitation is a slight imbalance, as the broader-problems discussion is much more extensive than the species-loss case, though the task remains fully addressed. The best refinement is to deepen the first view briefly and make the final prioritization even more explicitly comparative.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly with relevant evidence, and the writer's clear prioritization is developed and sustained throughout.
Add one further consequence of species loss before comparing its scale explicitly with climate change and pollution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through contrasting positions to a reasoned conclusion, with cohesive devices and referencing used effectively.
Balance the body paragraphs slightly more closely so the comparative structure is visually and rhetorically stronger.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, particularly in describing ecological processes, environmental threats, and social consequences.
Vary repeated terms such as "environmental problems" and "threat" where a more specific reference would sharpen the comparison.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with punctuation and agreement consistently controlled.
Refine occasional heavily modified sentences for concision while preserving the response's strong grammatical accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.