The technological advancement has changed the way people interact with each other. How the technology has affected the way people make and maintain relationship nowadays? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In recent years, it is undeniable that technology plays an integral parttechnology has an integral part to play in our liveslife but despite the many benefits it has broughtbut besides plenty of benefits that it has brought, there are also many drawbacks, includingthere are many drawbacks as well, one of them is about how people have recently treated each other.
In my opinion, the influenceinfluences of technology on relationships are quite strong and the development of technology has unfortunately had a negative effecthas become unfortunately negative. First of all, technology makes people change on only one side, for instance, on the Internet, perhaps he is very sociable and friendly but when it comes to real life, he is not the person whom he is used to be. Besides, one reason that explains this consequence is his shyness, because, on the Internet, he could be anyone whom he wants to be.
Secondly, still a matter of Internet, people might too care about the relationships on their social network accounts forget who they should actually pay attention to, their family, their real friends. For example, a person who has many friends on Facebook is likely to worry about the comments and number of likes they receiveworry about the comments and number of likes that he has.
Last but not least, technology also makes relationships with friends or familyfriends’ or family’s relationships less valuedappreciative. Nowadays,Because nowadays, whenever young people, especially teenagers, go out for dinner or simply hang outjust normally hang out, they bring their smartphones which are very convenient and have many interesting apps while they are with their friends or family, they usually focusfocus mainly on these devicestheir smart devices, so they do not speak to one anotherso no one speaks to each other.
In conclusion, from my perspective, technology does have a lot of advantages but in recent decades, it has become quite a negative developmenta quite negative development and has had particularly harmful effectshad particular bad effects on people’s relationships.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear negative position and offers three relevant effects of technology on relationships, supported by recognisable examples. Its main limitation is language control: frequent awkward collocations, missing sentence elements, and overloaded clauses sometimes obscure the explanation, particularly in the social-media and smartphone paragraphs. Prioritise rewriting each body paragraph around one precise claim, then use shorter complete sentences to explain cause and effect.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with a clear negative position and relevant effects, though some explanations remain broad or partially unclear.
Explain each effect through a precise causal chain showing how a specific technology changes the formation or maintenance of relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and an understandable progression, but mechanical sequencing and overloaded sentences weaken cohesion within paragraphs.
Give each body paragraph one focused topic sentence and connect its explanation and example with simple cause-and-effect links.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic, but frequent awkward combinations such as too care and less appreciative reduce precision.
Use natural expressions such as care too much about online approval and value relationships less.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but missing verbs, fragments, run-on clauses, and pronoun errors occur frequently and sometimes impede clarity.
Break long clauses into complete sentences and check that every sentence has a clear subject, finite verb, and correctly linked dependent clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The technological advancement has changed the way people interact with each other. How the technology has affected the way people make and maintain relationship nowadays? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.