Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
[It has become a negative development]
Technological advancements in the modern era have drastically altered the way people interact and build relationships. While these innovations have undoubtedly changed the nature of human connection, I believe this shift has had mostly negative consequences, particularly in terms of emotional closeness and communication depth.
Technology has fundamentally reshaped how relationships are formed and maintained. With the advent of social networking platforms, messaging apps, and video calls, people can now connect with others across the globe in real time. Unlike the old days, when people mostly wrote letters, nowadays, for instance, someone living in a village in South Asia can effortlessly maintain contact with a friend or relative in England or Australia through daily video chats or instant messaging. Additionally, digital platforms have enabled the formation of online communities based on shared interests, allowing individuals to find emotional support and friendship from like-minded people they have never met in person. However, these relationships often lack face-to-face interactions and personal bonding as a result.
I believe the impact of technology on relationships is largely negative. One key issue is that digital communication often leads to superficial interactions, replacing deep and meaningful conversations with short messages or social media updates. For example, many people today prefer texting over face-to-face conversations, which diminishes emotional depth and mutual understanding. Moreover, constant connectivity has created a culture of distraction. A person checking their smartphone while spending time with their partner may unintentionally signal disinterest, causing emotional distance and hurt. Furthermore, digital platforms cannot fully convey body language or emotional nuance, which can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of empathy in relationships.
In conclusion, these days technology offers convenience and global connectivity while making and maintaining relationships, but such relationships lack emotion and personal bonds. I believe the decline in emotional intimacy and the increase in distraction are serious concerns in modern relationships.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the natural noun phrase Original: communication depth Suggested revision: depth of communication Why it matters: Depth of communication is the more natural noun construction.
- 2. Use concise community wording Original: formation Suggested revision: creation Why it matters: Creation is a more direct noun for the emergence of these communities.
- 3. Fix the friendship collocation Original: friendship from like-minded people Suggested revision: friendships with like-minded people Why it matters: Friendship is formed with people rather than received from them.
- 4. Use general interaction singular Original: interactions Suggested revision: interaction Why it matters: Interaction is naturally uncountable when referring to the general mode of communicating.
- 5. Use a concrete noun Original: bonding Suggested revision: bonds Why it matters: Personal bonds describes the relationships themselves more directly.
- 6. Use precise emotional wording Original: hurt Suggested revision: distress Why it matters: Distress is a more precise noun for the emotional effect described.
- 7. Add the introductory comma Original: these days technology Suggested revision: these days, technology Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory time expression these days.
- 8. Clarify the actor Original: while making and maintaining relationships Suggested revision: when people form and maintain relationships Why it matters: The explicit subject prevents the modifier from attaching incorrectly to technology.
- 9. Use a concise noun phrase Original: the increase in distraction Suggested revision: increased distraction Why it matters: The adjective-and-noun form expresses the same idea more concisely.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Unlike the old days, when people mostly wrote letters, nowadays, for instance, someone living in a village in South Asia can effortlessly maintain contact with a friend or relative in England or Australia through daily video chats or instant messaging. Suggested revision: Whereas people once relied mainly on letters, someone in a South Asian village can now maintain daily contact with a friend or relative in England or Australia through video calls or instant messages. Why it matters: The rewrite removes competing time markers and presents the past-to-present contrast more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- communication depth depth of communication
- formation creation
- friendship from like-minded people friendships with like-minded people
- interactions interaction
- bonding bonds
- hurt distress
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay directly answers both questions, sustains a clear negative judgement and develops its reasoning with specific examples of global contact, online communities, distraction and lost emotional nuance. Its main limitation is minor repetition of emotional distance and a slightly awkward final sentence rather than any major gap. Tighten the conclusion and briefly weigh the acknowledged connectivity benefits against the harms to sharpen an already coherent, precise argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the changed forms of relationships and the writer's negative evaluation are fully developed with relevant explanation and examples.
Make the final evaluation even more nuanced by stating explicitly why the benefits of global contact do not outweigh reduced emotional depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are clear, with each section advancing a distinct part of the response and cohesive devices used effectively.
Reduce slight repetition between the introduction, negative-impact paragraph and conclusion by reserving the final synthesis for the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise and well matched to technology, connectivity and emotional relationships, with only occasional repetition.
Vary repeated terms such as "emotional depth," "relationships" and "digital platforms" where a precise alternative fits naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only rare awkwardness that does not impede communication.
Refine the final sentence to "Technology makes relationships easier to form and maintain, but they may lack emotional depth and personal connection."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.