'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Sample Response
Telecommuting has become a buzzword not only among IT professionals but also among the common folks. It brings about a sea of changes in the work culture of many business settings. Though some business firms are on the fence about this new concept, my two cents is that several positive innovations come about in the society by this new concept.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal wording Original: common folks Suggested revision: general public Why it matters: This alternative is more appropriate for formal academic writing.
- 2. Avoid informal idiom Original: a sea of changes Suggested revision: major changes Why it matters: The replacement expresses the scale of change more precisely and formally.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: work culture of many business settings Suggested revision: workplace culture in many businesses Why it matters: This is a more natural combination of words for the intended meaning.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: business firms Suggested revision: firms Why it matters: The word firms already identifies business organisations.
- 5. Use formal wording Original: on the fence about Suggested revision: uncertain about Why it matters: This avoids an informal idiom while preserving the meaning.
- 6. State view formally Original: my two cents is that Suggested revision: I believe that Why it matters: This is a clearer and more formal way to introduce the writer's view.
- 7. Choose precise noun Original: innovations Suggested revision: changes Why it matters: Changes fits the broad social effects being described more accurately than innovations.
- 8. Fix clause structure Original: come about in the society by this new concept Suggested revision: will arise in society from telecommuting Why it matters: The replacement corrects the prepositions and clearly identifies the cause.
Suggested Rewrites
- common folks general public
- a sea of changes major changes
- work culture of many business settings workplace culture in many businesses
- business firms firms
- on the fence about uncertain about
- my two cents is that I believe that
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response is readable and shows some ability to use varied sentence structures and idiomatic vocabulary. However, at only 60 words, it functions as an introduction rather than an essay: it names a generally positive view but identifies no specific social effects and provides no explanation or evidence. The priority is to develop a complete multi-paragraph response covering several concrete consequences for society.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response offers a general positive position but does not identify, explain, or support any actual effects of telecommuting on society.
Write a complete essay that develops several specific social effects, such as changes to cities, families, workplaces, or inequality.
Coherence and Cohesion
The three sentences follow a basic introductory progression, but the extreme brevity prevents sustained organisation or paragraph development.
Organise the answer into an introduction, focused body paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary shows some range, but informal idioms and awkward collocations reduce precision and suitability for an academic response.
Replace expressions such as buzzword, common folks, on the fence, and my two cents with precise academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures with generally clear meaning, although some phrasing is grammatically awkward.
Improve control of articles and prepositions in phrases such as in society and caused by this development, then demonstrate this accuracy across a full essay.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.