'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Sample Response
It is true that telecommuting has revolutionised our life on many ways. In my opinion, I believe that telecommuting has both positive and negative effects on our society.
On the one hand, telecommuting has many benefits on our planet generally and our social life specifically. Firstly, telecommuting could reduce pressure on earth resources. Telecommuting commuters tend to travel less to their workplaces. As a result, this could decrease pressure on urban infrastructures like roads and public transportation services and ultimately could save natural fossil resources and decrease pollution. Secondly, working from home could modify our family relationships. People spend more time with their families and this increase family tidiness and stability. For instance, some social workers link telecommuting with decrease divorce rates in many western countries. It is a very effective way to enhance the performance of the employees and thus producing increased output for a company. This reduces the costs and ensures better profitability. One of the main objectives of technological advancement is the faster and more tasks done per hour. Telecommuting ensures this very perfectly.
On the other hand, telecommuting could have some negative impacts. One problem is that working from home could result in many health problems. Telecommuting forces people to move less and do more desk jobs. This sedentary lifestyle could lead to many health problems like obesity. Another drawback of telecommuting is that it may affect our social life negatively. Working from home without exposure to real work life could reduce people interaction skills and could ultimately lead to social isolation.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of telecommuting on our health and social life are more significant than the possible benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The fixed expression is “in many ways.”
- 2. Remove repetition Original: In my opinion, I believe Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: Both phrases signal a personal view, so using one is more concise.
- 3. Fix the preposition Original: on Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The noun “benefits” takes “for” when identifying the recipient.
- 4. Use possessive form Original: earth resources Suggested revision: the Earth’s resources Why it matters: The possessive form correctly indicates resources belonging to the Earth.
- 5. Avoid incorrect collocation Original: Telecommuting commuters Suggested revision: Telecommuters Why it matters: “Telecommuters” is the standard noun for people who work remotely.
- 6. Use uncountable noun Original: infrastructures Suggested revision: infrastructure Why it matters: “Infrastructure” is normally uncountable in this general sense.
- 7. Use precise term Original: natural fossil resources Suggested revision: fossil fuels Why it matters: “Fossil fuels” is the natural term for the resources that reduced travel could conserve.
- 8. Clarify the effect Original: modify Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: “Improve” expresses the positive change developed in the following sentence.
- 9. Fix verb agreement Original: increase Suggested revision: increases Why it matters: The singular subject “this” requires the verb form “increases.”
- 10. Choose accurate noun Original: tidiness Suggested revision: cohesion Why it matters: “Cohesion” describes close and stable family relationships, whereas “tidiness” concerns neatness.
- 11. Fix noun phrase Original: decrease Suggested revision: lower Why it matters: The comparative adjective “lower” correctly modifies “divorce rates.”
- 12. Capitalise the region Original: western Suggested revision: Western Why it matters: “Western” is capitalised when it denotes a cultural or geographical region.
Suggested Rewrites
- on in
- In my opinion, I believe I believe
- on for
- earth resources the Earth’s resources
- Telecommuting commuters Telecommuters
- infrastructures infrastructure
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses the question directly and organises several positive and negative social effects into a readily understandable discussion. Its main limitation is uneven development: some claims, particularly about divorce rates and productivity, are asserted or loosely connected, and frequent collocational and grammatical errors reduce precision. Prioritise explaining each major effect more convincingly while correcting recurring agreement, preposition, and noun-phrase errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay considers a relevant range of societal effects and reaches a clear conclusion, but several positive claims are insufficiently explained or supported.
Develop fewer effects in greater depth by showing a credible chain from telecommuting to each claimed social outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall positive-versus-negative structure is clear, though the first body paragraph shifts abruptly among environmental, family, and business effects.
Group closely related effects together and use topic sentences that accurately signal each paragraph’s main focus.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, but recurring inaccurate collocations such as ‘family tidiness’ and ‘decrease divorce rates’ weaken precision.
Build control of common academic collocations, including ‘family cohesion’, ‘lower divorce rates’, and ‘reduce pressure on resources’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are mixed with generally clear meaning, but agreement, preposition, and noun-phrase errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and grammatical noun phrases, correcting forms such as ‘this increases’ and ‘people’s interaction skills’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.