"Telecommuting" refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Sample Response
Nowadays, thanks to modernization, the way people communicatethe way of communication between people has changed completelyhas thoroughly become different than before. By using electronic systemsUsing of electronic systems, humans are able to connect with each other atconnect with each other, at their workplace or home. I personally believe that this technology has created more job opportunities for individuals, have reduced traffic load, and they have become more socially active.
Obviously, advancements in telecommunication have enhanced the capacity of the workforce in many countries. Some new graduates, who do not have sufficient financial supportbackup, can work from homeare able to work from their home. For example, my cousin, who is a recent graduate in e-commerce developmenta fresh e-commerce developer graduate, has recently chosen to use his home as an officeselected his home as his office, saving just over $1,500 in rent and bills each monthsaving just over $1500 paid for rent and bills each month. Many other recent engineering graduatesfresh engineers can use this novel method to work remotelydo their business.
Another positive impact of this technology is that it has substantially reduced traffic congestiontremendously subsided traffic congestion in cities. Clearly, the less number of people commute between their home and office, the less severe traffic problem they will face in urban areas. To communicate with their partners, they can use their personal computers at hometheir personal computer from their home, whereas previouslywhile before they had to spend almost one hour to get to workreach their work. In this case, reported by the transport authorities of Tehran, the load vehicles in central area could be declined to almost half if telecommunication has been expanded by giant corporations, according to a report of a local economy magazine.
Lastly, this method has caused people to become more socially active. Definitely, had this technology not been so popularhad not this technology been so popular, nationalnation’s cultures would have become less familiar to people in other nationsless recognisable to other nations. They can use a variety of visual and audio features of the Internet and communicate with each other. For instance, Facebook, the leading contemporary social network, has led humans from different nationalities to have a closer relationship. They can send messages, chat, send or receive files or post video clips or pictures on their timeline, making the web a better place for communication.
In conclusion, progress in the cyberspace has created a better opportunity for humans to have a better living condition. From my perspective, this technology has increased job positions for the job seekers, commuting less between their home and workplace, and intercultural understanding has become more possible, far greater than the past.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear explanation of how telecommuting can expand employment and reduce urban traffic, supported by concrete examples. Its main limitation is the third main idea, which discusses social media and intercultural communication rather than a consequence of working from home. The highest priority is to replace that tangential section with a direct societal effect of telecommuting, such as changes to local economies, family life, or workplace inclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Job access and reduced congestion are relevantly developed, but the social-media discussion is largely unrelated to the societal effects of telecommuting.
Develop a third effect that follows directly from remote work and explain its broader impact on communities, households, or employment access.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, three topic-based body paragraphs, and a conclusion, though the third branch weakens the overall line of progression.
Ensure every topic sentence explicitly names a consequence of telecommuting and remove examples that support internet communication only.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied for work, traffic, and technology, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as ‘communication has changed’, ‘financial resources’, ‘reduce congestion’, ‘traffic volume’, and ‘work remotely’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, comparatives, clauses, and parallel forms remain noticeable.
Check sentence subjects and parallel lists, especially ‘technology has created, reduced, and enabled’ and ‘the fewer people who commute, the less congestion’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
"Telecommuting" refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.