Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In the era when digital productsthe digital products are widely popular, the question of whether theatres and cinemas still play major rolesthe theatres and cinemas are still play main roles in the economy and culture has sparked an intense debate. While some argue that they are no longer important. I am firmly believe that they remain indispensable to societycan not leave the society. Initially, theatres and cinemas are large and prominentwide-spread buildings; they playbuildings, they play a main role in creating job opportunitiesoppotunities and boosting local business. They provide large amount of careerscarrers like ticket sellers, service staffstuffs and technical workers. If there wereis no theatres and cinemas, plenty of people who workworking in this industry will lose jobs. Governments would have to pay subsidiesThe government have to pay the subsidy to ensure they can supportraise themselves.Apart from that, these buildings can alsothese building also can drive developments to some relatedrelate businesses like advertisement. Online channels offer fewer promotional opportunitiesOnline platform just offer less platform for some online companies which have no real stores. However, the cinemas and theatres can provide enough methods to make profit for the online companies. Thus, these buildings bring many economic benefitsbrings lots of benefits in angle of economy. Moreover, theatres and cinemas also play a main role inroleof local culture. Firstly, the theatres and cinemas can offer specialspeical experiences which the online videos can not replace. Watching movies or live performances in public spaces are allowed the audiences share the emotions and build a sense of cultural activities, which can enrich audiences' experiences and spread traditional and art efficiently. In conclusion, theatres and cinemas remain valuablethe theatres and cinemas are remaining valuable. They can promote the development of economy and spread traditional culturethe traditional cultures.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear stance and effectively highlights the economic and cultural value of traditional venues. However, it largely neglects the opposing perspective regarding online entertainment, and frequent grammatical errors disrupt the flow of reading. To improve, devote a paragraph to discussing why online platforms make some people view physical venues as redundant, while carefully editing verb structures and sentence grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You clearly express your opinion and provide relevant economic and cultural reasons supporting the importance of physical venues.
Ensure you fully explore both sides of the prompt by dedicating a body paragraph to why some people believe digital streaming makes physical venues unnecessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses clear paragraphing to separate economic and cultural arguments, maintaining a broadly logical flow throughout.
Improve transition markers and fix punctuation errors between clauses to ensure smooth connections between sentences.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrate a sufficient range of topic-specific vocabulary to convey your central message effectively.
Work on word accuracy and spelling to eliminate errors in terms like 'carrers', 'stuffs', and phrases like 'angle of economy'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While complex structures are attempted, frequent grammatical errors in verb formations and sentence constructions are present throughout the essay.
Focus on tense consistency and passive voice structures to avoid mistakes like 'are still play' or 'are allowed the audiences share'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.