Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In the era when the digital products are widely popular, the question of whether the theatres and cinemas still play main rolesare still play main roles in the economy and culture has sparked an intense debate. While some argue that they are no longer important. I am firmly believe that they can not leave the society. Initially, theatres and cinemas are large and wide-spread buildings, they play a main role in creating job opportunitiesoppotunities and boosting local business. They provide a large number of jobslarge amount of carrers like ticket sellers, service staffstuffs and technical workers. If there were no theatres or cinemas,If there is no theatres and cinemas, plenty of people who workworking in this industry will lose jobs. Governments would have to pay subsidiesThe government have to pay the subsidy to ensure they can supportraise themselves.Apart from that, these buildingsbuilding also can drive developments to some relatedrelate businesses like advertisement. Online platforms only offerOnline platform just offer less platform for some online companies which have no real stores. However, the cinemas and theatres can provide enough methods to make profit for the online companies. Thus, these buildings brings lots of benefits from an economic perspectivein angle of economy. Moreover, theatres and cinemas also play a main role inroleof local culture. Firstly, the theatres and cinemas can offer specialspeical experiences which the online videos can not replace. Watching movies or live performances in public spaces allow audiences to shareare allowed the audiences share the emotions and build a sense of cultural activities, which can enrich audiences' experiences and spread traditiontraditional and art efficiently. In conclusion, the theatres and cinemas remain valuableare remaining valuable. They can promote the development of economy and spread the traditional cultures.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay presents a clear position supporting the economic and cultural value of cinemas and theatres, offering relevant supporting arguments. However, it fails to adequately explore the opposing view regarding the prevalence of online entertainment, leading to an unbalanced response. To improve, ensure both perspectives from the prompt are fully examined in dedicated paragraphs before stating your final conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You clearly present your opinion on the economic and cultural importance of physical venues, but you largely omit a full discussion of why others believe online streaming makes them obsolete.
Devote a distinct body paragraph to explaining the argument for online entertainment before evaluating it alongside your own view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized logically into paragraphs with a clear progression from economic benefits to cultural value.
Improve cohesive devices and paragraph transitions so that ideas flow more naturally between sentences.
Lexical Resource
You use a sufficient range of topic vocabulary to convey your ideas, though spelling mistakes and awkward word choices occur frequently.
Focus on accurate word forms and spelling for common terms, such as 'opportunities', 'careers', and 'related businesses'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence attempts, but grammatical errors in verb structures and subject-verb agreement recur throughout the text.
Review fundamental verb phrase structures to eliminate errors such as 'are still play' or 'I am firmly believe'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.