The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
It is sometimes argued that traditional lifestyles and behaviours which are favoured by the old generation have nothing to do with the training of youngsters in a way that may require living in a fast-paced world. I completely agree with this statement.
In my opinion, traditions that had been settled by our ancestors are absurd to get considered in this revolutionised world. To take a living style of our predecessors as an example, teenagers in past centuries were bound to remain in nucleus families. However, younger generations are more likely to live independently nowadays which helps them to develop a variety of attributes in their personalities ranging from a higher level of confidence and a sense of responsibility to deal with the real world. These hands-on experiences help them to be better trained and prepared for the challenges in the real world. If these offspring were forced to follow the conventional ideology, they would have missed these much-needed traits which are crucial in becoming a successful member of an egalitarian society.
It is also argued that conventional values can restrict teenagers from thinking globally. So, it will make them the narrow-minded adults in terms of accepting different people from different cultures and backgrounds. For instance, our forefathers were highly reluctant to do shared business with traders of different ethnic groups of people in their time period. This ended up in limited trades. Therefore, I would argue that teenagers should be given the broader view of this universe with immense awareness of global issues, different languages as well as conflict resolution. It will allow them to broaden their horizons in regard to the understanding of this increasingly interconnected world. As a result, a prestigious place in the job market and a prosperous future will be assured for them.
In conclusion, I believe that traditional ethics should be ignored as it cannot assist in making our younger generation the productive members of a competitive society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix tradition collocation Original: traditions that had been settled Suggested revision: traditions established Why it matters: Traditions are “established” rather than “settled.”
- 2. Use natural evaluation Original: are absurd to get considered Suggested revision: are unsuitable Why it matters: “Are unsuitable” conveys the judgement without the unidiomatic passive construction.
- 3. Correct family term Original: nucleus Suggested revision: nuclear Why it matters: The established term for this family structure is “nuclear family.”
- 4. Fix singular reference Original: These hands-on experiences Suggested revision: This hands-on experience Why it matters: The phrase refers to the single experience of living independently.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: be better trained and prepared Suggested revision: be better prepared Why it matters: “Trained” and “prepared” overlap in meaning here.
- 6. Use suitable reference Original: these offspring Suggested revision: these young people Why it matters: “Young people” is a more natural human reference in this context.
- 7. Fix conditional tense Original: would have missed Suggested revision: would miss Why it matters: A present hypothetical condition requires “would miss,” not a past perfect result.
- 8. Fix adjective pattern Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The adjective “crucial” takes “to” before a gerund in this structure.
- 9. Clarify consequence link Original: So, it will make them Suggested revision: This could make them Why it matters: “This” clearly refers to the restriction, while “could” avoids an unsupported certainty.
- 10. Remove incorrect article Original: the narrow-minded adults Suggested revision: narrow-minded adults Why it matters: No definite article is needed when referring generally to a plural group.
- 11. Use direct phrasing Original: in terms of accepting Suggested revision: when accepting Why it matters: The revision states the relationship more directly and naturally.
- 12. Fix business collocation Original: do shared business Suggested revision: do business Why it matters: The conventional expression is “do business with” someone.
Suggested Rewrites
- traditions that had been settled traditions established
- are absurd to get considered are unsuitable
- nucleus nuclear
- These hands-on experiences This hands-on experience
- be better trained and prepared be better prepared
- these offspring these young people
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains an unequivocal position and organises two relevant arguments about independence and global-mindedness into a clear progression. Its main limitation is that some claims and examples are overstated or insufficiently convincing, while frequent awkward collocations weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to use more credible, specific support and express it in natural academic phrasing, avoiding sweeping assertions about traditions and guaranteed future outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position and two developed reasons, although some support is broad, speculative, or overstated.
Use a specific contemporary example for each reason and qualify claims that cannot reasonably apply to all traditional values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced with distinct, focused paragraphs, though a few links are abrupt or slightly repetitive.
Make cause-and-effect connections more precise and remove repeated wording so each sentence advances the argument efficiently.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a good range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise word choices reduce naturalness.
Replace inflated phrases with accurate combinations such as traditional practices, nuclear families, international outlook, and business partnerships.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used successfully, but errors in articles, agreement, reference, and sentence construction occur regularly.
Proofread complex sentences for clear pronoun reference, correct noun number, and agreement between subjects and verbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.