The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
It is true that the older generation, in most of the cases, adheres to many traditional values, belief and old way of thinking and many of these are not suitable to make the youngsters ready to take challenges in this modern era. There are still some values and traditions that are useful and older generation should pass those values to the young people. To begin with, many ideas that older generation still finds unavoidable have become less relevant for the young generation and it is a good thing that the youngsters have less faith on the superstitions our forefathers believed in. Besides, the traditional belief of educating a boy and upbringing a girl so that he becomes the breadwinner and she can become a good housewife is no longer accepted by the modern era. The traditional belief of fixed role for men and women are no longer applicable to this advance era where people believe in gender equity. Furthermore, the modern generation no longer agrees to take the fact that a student has to study to become either a doctor or an engineer. According to the old belief, these two are the careers someone must have. With the time, study and career have become quite different and the older tradition is no longer acceptable now. Moreover, young adults these days choose their life partners and decide when to marry which contradicts with the old tradition. However, there are some traditional values that the youngsters should foster as those views are still beneficial and useful in this modern era. For instance, old generation strongly believes in the importance of being honest and they would rather die than to surrender to the corruption. If this generation can adapt to this single traditional value, the world would be a much better place. Our forefathers also valued the importance of working hard and taking pride in one’s dignity and work. These characteristics are ageless and should be passed to the new generation as well. We have become more materialistic and selfish these days while out older generation teaches us the value of family and society. The sense of community the senior people had are exemplary and would establish better family, social and cultural bonding. To conclude, youngsters have to be ready to embrace the changed of the modern era while nurturing the traditional values that teaches them to have better future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: in most of the cases Suggested revision: in most cases Why it matters: The general expression is 'in most cases' without 'the'.
- 2. Use parallel plurals Original: values, belief and old way of thinking Suggested revision: values, beliefs, and old ways of thinking Why it matters: All three coordinated countable nouns should be plural in this general statement.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: suitable to make the youngsters ready to take challenges Suggested revision: suitable for preparing young people to face challenges Why it matters: The replacement uses the correct adjective pattern and natural collocations.
- 4. Add the article Original: older generation should pass Suggested revision: the older generation should pass Why it matters: The singular collective noun requires the definite article here.
- 5. Add the article Original: ideas that older generation Suggested revision: ideas that the older generation Why it matters: The singular collective noun 'generation' needs an article.
- 6. Choose the intended word Original: finds unavoidable Suggested revision: considers indispensable Why it matters: 'Unavoidable' does not express the idea that these traditions are regarded as essential.
- 7. Correct the preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The noun 'faith' takes the preposition 'in'.
- 8. Use parallel verb forms Original: belief of educating a boy and upbringing a girl Suggested revision: practice of educating a boy and bringing up a girl Why it matters: The coordinated activities need parallel gerund forms.
- 9. Correct the relationship Original: by Suggested revision: in Why it matters: An era is a time setting, so 'in' is the appropriate preposition.
- 10. Fix preposition and number Original: belief of fixed role Suggested revision: belief in fixed roles Why it matters: The noun 'belief' takes 'in', and men and women have plural roles.
- 11. Match the singular subject Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The head noun 'belief' is singular and requires 'is'.
- 12. Use adjective form Original: advance Suggested revision: advanced Why it matters: 'Advanced' is the adjective needed to describe the era.
Suggested Rewrites
- in most of the cases in most cases
- values, belief and old way of thinking values, beliefs, and old ways of thinking
- suitable to make the youngsters ready to take challenges suitable for preparing young people to face challenges
- older generation should pass the older generation should pass
- ideas that older generation ideas that the older generation
- finds unavoidable considers indispensable
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, qualified position, developed through a wide range of concrete examples showing which traditions have lost relevance and which remain valuable. Its main limitation is recurrent inaccuracy in grammar and collocation, compounded by presenting the argument without paragraph breaks. The highest priority is to organise the contrasting positions into distinct paragraphs and edit sentence forms carefully so the nuanced argument is expressed more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear nuanced position is maintained and supported with relevant examples of outdated beliefs and enduring values.
Develop the central judgement further by explaining how young people can decide which traditions remain useful in modern life.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from outdated practices to valuable principles, but the single-block format weakens paragraph-level organisation and emphasis.
Create separate paragraphs for the position, obsolete traditions, enduring values, and conclusion, each led by a focused topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a good range of topic vocabulary, though several collocations and word choices are unnatural or imprecise.
Check fixed combinations and distinctions such as believe in, adapt to circumstances, adopt values, and advanced society.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with generally clear meaning, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and word forms remain noticeable.
Review every noun phrase and relative clause for correct number, agreement, and article use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.