The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?
Sample Response
The economic differences in society create inequality among people. The differences between rich people and poor people’s income are increasing in recent years. The reason for them can be classified into improper government policies and the individual's talents. Tax policies introduced by the governments are favourable for the high net worth people to evade the tax. For instance, entrepreneurs have different tax slabs that make them avail tax exemptions like, opening an office in a special economy zone can result in good savings and an increase in profit. However, we cannot discount the individual talents in making enormous profits. Talent is something that can be acquired by experience or inherited from the family. There are several startup companies created by talented individuals who make it to the rich people category in a matter of a few years. In addition, there are few interesting people from the wealthy segment who use their talents to bridge the income gap between the rich and poor. For example, companies like Microsoft and Google are spending hard-earned money for the betterment of society by investing in child education and infrastructure. If all the organisations and the individuals spend a fraction of their enormous income on the country's infrastructure, education and economic growth, then there are bright chances to fill in the gap of the income difference. I firmly believe that rich people spending the money on improving the lifestyle of poor people and better government tax policies will increase the chances of closing the income difference between the rich and poor.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix possessive comparison Original: The differences between rich people and poor people’s income Suggested revision: The difference between rich people's and poor people's incomes Why it matters: Both compared groups need possessive forms, and incomes should be plural.
- 2. Use present perfect Original: are increasing in recent years Suggested revision: has increased in recent years Why it matters: In recent years calls for the present perfect, and the revised subject difference is singular.
- 3. Clarify plural cause Original: The reason for them Suggested revision: The reasons for this gap Why it matters: Multiple causes require reasons, and this gap gives the pronoun a clear referent.
- 4. Use causal phrasing Original: can be classified into Suggested revision: can be attributed to Why it matters: Causes are attributed to factors rather than classified into them.
- 5. Use general noun Original: the individual's talents Suggested revision: individual talent Why it matters: The statement refers generally to talent rather than to one identified person's talents.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: introduced by the governments Suggested revision: introduced by governments Why it matters: Governments is used generally here and does not take the definite article.
- 7. Correct adjective pattern Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Favourable takes to when describing who benefits from a policy.
- 8. Avoid wrong legal meaning Original: evade the tax Suggested revision: reduce their tax liability Why it matters: Evade implies illegal conduct, whereas the example describes lawful exemptions.
- 9. Use standard term Original: slabs Suggested revision: brackets Why it matters: Tax brackets is the more widely understood term for bands of taxable income.
- 10. Correct verb pattern Original: make them avail tax exemptions Suggested revision: allow them to claim tax exemptions Why it matters: Allow someone to claim is the correct structure for receiving an exemption.
- 11. Correct fixed term Original: economy Suggested revision: economic Why it matters: Special economic zone is the established term.
- 12. Use precise adjective Original: good Suggested revision: substantial Why it matters: Substantial describes the size of financial savings more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- The differences between rich people and poor people’s income The difference between rich people's and poor people's incomes
- are increasing in recent years has increased in recent years
- The reason for them The reasons for this gap
- can be classified into can be attributed to
- the individual's talents individual talent
- introduced by the governments introduced by governments
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers relevant ideas about tax policy and private investment, and its meaning remains generally clear. However, it largely discusses causes of inequality instead of explaining the problems the widening gap can create, so a major part of the task is under-addressed; the single-paragraph format also weakens organisation. The priority is to plan separate, developed sections for consequences and solutions, each supported with a clear explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Some workable solutions are proposed, but the essay largely replaces the required discussion of problems with an account of possible causes.
Directly develop at least two consequences of the widening gap before explaining specific government and societal solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a discernible sequence, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph obscures the shift from causes to solutions.
Use an introduction, a paragraph on resulting problems, a paragraph on solutions, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of economic vocabulary, although several collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Use more natural phrases such as 'income disparity,' 'tax avoidance,' and 'narrow the gap,' and avoid vague wording like 'bright chances.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences are both used, but recurring errors in tense, articles, agreement, and clause construction limit accuracy.
Check each sentence for consistent tense, correct determiners, and complete grammatical structures, especially around examples and conditional claims.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.