Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Key government positionsGovernment jobs at key positions are criticalvery critical and entailrequire serious responsibilities. Decisions made in key positionsDecision making done through important positions hascreates a long-term impact on the growth of the country in different sectors. Many people believe that key government positions should be reserved for more experienced bureaucratscritical offices in government should only be awarded to more experienced bureaucrats, while others believe that one should benefit from the creativity and drivecreative and thriving skills of the The younger generationyoung generation. This essay will look at both sides before drawing a conclusion.
OnOne the one hand, many argue that influential positions in government should only be given to older and experienced candidates. They say that experience givesgive them the necessary skill setthem necessary skill set which is vital for effective decision-makingvital in their decision-making skills. For instance, in the case of militancy in the country, a generalGeneral would be more effective in mitigating the situation thanas compared to a lieutenant who has recently graduated. Moreover, they believe that young people, due to a lack of field experience, aredue to lack of field experience are unable to manage large teams and are unaware of government operations, procedures and regulations. Their induction in key positions can have catastrophic effects on the growth of the country.
However, there are several plausible counterarguments to this viewplausible counters in favour of this argument. Young generation brings creativity and innovation to its workin their work, which is vital for prosperity in the modern era. Their enthusiasm and dedication are unmatched by those of older peoplenonpareil with older people. For instance, young government health workers successfully raised awareness of polio vaccinationraised the awareness of polio vaccines in the country. Their efforts are evident from the charts, which show thatcharts where the number of polio cases registered every quarter is decreasing. Often government jobs require rigorous screening based on different criteria and if the youth is successful in passing those, thenpassing out those that there is no harm in awarding important government jobs to young aspirants.
Although the above arguments provide firm evidence for both sides of the argument, it is felt that the healthiest approachthat healthiest approach in offering key government jobs is to ensure they follow rigorous training programs. Thus, a person's age should not be a discriminating factor in awarding government jobs.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, balanced discussion and reaches a relevant, nuanced position, with both sides supported by specific examples. Its main limitation is uneven language control: several article, agreement, and collocation errors make otherwise ambitious phrasing sound awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to edit complex sentences for grammatical accuracy and natural word combinations while retaining the strong development of ideas.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant explanation and examples, and the final position is clear and consistent.
Develop the training-based opinion more fully by explaining why it resolves the concerns raised about inexperienced appointees.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through an introduction, two contrasting arguments, and a concise conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Use more precise transitions when changing sides so references such as 'this argument' cannot point ambiguously to the preceding view.
Lexical Resource
A broad and sometimes sophisticated vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, although several collocations are unnatural.
Replace awkward combinations such as 'thriving skills' and 'nonpareil with' with natural, context-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of complex structures is attempted successfully, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, and sentence construction reduce control.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and correctly punctuated dependent phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.