Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
GovernmentYoungsters nowadays are getting drifted towards government jobs. Whether it’s a duty with normal shift or holding a position in the ministry, they can be seen everywhere. While some people are of the opinion that young generation is not capable of holding higher positions in government jobs, others believe that it is a great idea as it has several benefits.
Firstly, people of young generation have a very different mindset. As a result, change in the functionality of the system can be seen. Also, this will accelerate the functioning in every government department because of the capability of the youngsters to work faster. This can be seen in many departments such as road construction, a study shows that a significant change has been noticed after the appointment of young engineers at a higher level. So, we can say that giving government jobs of higher authority to youngsters have certain advantages.
However, there are areas where experience plays a vital role. Many decisions that a person has to take depend on his prior experience in that field. A chief minister, for instance, has to decide about various things that will have an effect on the whole of the state. If he is inexperienced and takes certain wrong decisions, it can be detrimental for many civilians. Though there are people to guide but in the end he will be the sole person responsible. Therefore, we can say that experience gained with age is very helpful and plays a key role in any job.
Although the experience is required to work efficiently, I believe that there are certain areas where youngsters will deliver a better performance. Hence, youngsters should be given chance and should be promoted.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct opening noun phrase Original: GovernmentYoungsters nowadays Suggested revision: Young people nowadays Why it matters: The fused word is invalid and obscures the sentence's subject.
- 2. Clarify job type Original: a duty with normal shift Suggested revision: a role with standard hours Why it matters: The revision replaces the unnatural phrase with a clear description of ordinary working hours.
- 3. Add definite article Original: young generation is Suggested revision: the younger generation is Why it matters: The group noun requires 'the', and 'younger' matches the comparison in the topic.
- 4. Use concise position phrase Original: higher positions in government jobs Suggested revision: senior government positions Why it matters: The revision expresses positions of authority more precisely and concisely.
- 5. Use natural group noun Original: people of young generation Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: The original noun phrase is not idiomatic English.
- 6. Clarify system change Original: change in the functionality of the system Suggested revision: changes in how the system functions Why it matters: The revision makes the abstract phrase clearer and uses a natural plural form.
- 7. Use operations collocation Original: accelerate the functioning Suggested revision: speed up operations Why it matters: 'Speed up operations' is the natural expression for increasing efficiency.
- 8. Use concise ability phrase Original: capability of the youngsters to work faster Suggested revision: young employees' ability to work quickly Why it matters: The revision is more concise and uses the adverb 'quickly' to modify 'work'.
- 9. Name senior roles clearly Original: giving government jobs of higher authority Suggested revision: giving senior government roles Why it matters: The original phrase is awkward and does not clearly name positions with authority.
- 10. Fix gerund agreement Original: to youngsters have Suggested revision: to young people has Why it matters: The gerund phrase headed by 'giving' is singular and requires 'has'.
- 11. Use decision collocation Original: decisions that a person has to take Suggested revision: decisions a person has to make Why it matters: The standard collocation is 'make a decision'.
- 12. Remove unnecessary preposition Original: decide about various things Suggested revision: decide various matters Why it matters: The transitive verb can take the object directly in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- GovernmentYoungsters nowadays Young people nowadays
- a duty with normal shift a role with standard hours
- young generation is the younger generation is
- higher positions in government jobs senior government positions
- people of young generation young people
- change in the functionality of the system changes in how the system functions
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay discusses both perspectives, maintains a clear preference for giving younger people opportunities, and explains why experience matters in high-stakes decisions. Its main limitation is uneven development: the case for younger officials rests on broad claims about speed and mindset, while the conclusion does not define where they would perform better. Prioritise specific qualities, roles, and credible supporting examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are addressed, but support for younger officeholders is general and the final recommendation lacks clear limits or conditions.
Identify positions where innovation or digital expertise matters and explain how mentoring or experience requirements could manage the risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure creates logical progression from the debate to each view and a concise personal conclusion.
Make the young-officials paragraph follow one clear chain from a specific quality to its governmental benefit and evidence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for government, authority, experience, and performance, but several expressions are repetitive or unnatural.
Use precise phrases such as 'are drawn to public service', 'senior government positions', 'administrative efficiency', and 'be given opportunities'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures communicates the argument, though errors in articles, agreement, sentence boundaries, and clause linking recur.
Correct agreement in sentences about young people and revise the comma splice in the road-construction example into two complete sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.