The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates howdelineates data regarding how bricks are produced in the construction industryindustry of construction.
Overall, there is a total of three3 main stages, namely digging, processing and packagingdigging, processing and processing and packaging, which together include seven sub-stageswhich include seven sub-stages. In addition, the second is the core phase, where the bricks are formed physically and by heat.
InitiallyFirst and foremost, clay excavated by a diggercollected by a digging machine is passed through a metal grid onto a rollerfiltered with a metal grid on a roller machine and mixed with sand and water. In the third stage, this mixture is either cut with a wire cutter or placed in a mouldkept in a wire cutter or mould to form bricksmake the shape of bricks.
NextSecondly, the shapedaccumulated bricks undergo a drying process forfrom 24 to 48 hours in an oven before being heated in two kiln stagesbeing contained in a kiln at both moderate and high temperatures ranging from 200°C to 980°C, then 870°C to 1300°C200C to 1300C and then being transferredending up in a cooling chamber for 48–72 hoursanother 48 – 72 hours. Finally, the finishedcomplete bricks are packaged for delivery.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response follows the manufacturing sequence clearly and covers every major stage from clay extraction to delivery. Its main weakness is imprecise wording around the overview and brick-forming stage, including the repeated stage label and the suggestion that material is kept in a cutter or mould. Prioritise a cleaner overview and exact process verbs so the accurate visual information is expressed without ambiguity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major stages and the key time and temperature ranges are included, despite an unclear and partly inaccurate overview.
Summarise the process as a linear sequence and state distinctly that the bricks pass through moderate and then high-temperature kilns.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses in process order and uses paragraphs effectively, although some stage labels and sequencing expressions are inconsistent.
Use stage references consistently and avoid switching from 'first' to 'third' and then back to 'secondly'.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient process vocabulary and some less common wording, but several collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise process verbs such as 'passed through', 'cut', 'moulded', 'dried' and 'fired' instead of 'kept' or 'contained'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but awkward clause construction and article or preposition errors recur.
Improve control of passive structures and parallel forms, especially when describing the two alternative brick-shaping methods.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.