The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the average monthly temperaturesmean temperature per month, whereas the table showsdemonstrates the average annual hours of sunshinehours of sunshine in average in a year in London, New York and Sydney. Overall, it is clear that although London and New York become warmer but the temperatures start to decrease near the end of the year, the opposite trend is true for Sydney.
In January, the temperature in London is higher than in New Yorkhigher than New York at 8°C and around 5°C, respectivelywith figures 8 and around 5 respectively. As the temperatures in both cities continue to rise, the temperature in New York becomes higher than in Londonbecomes higher than London in mid-Marchin middle of March; both temperatures rise graduallythe figures go up gradually and reach peaks in July (just under 30°C and around 23°C, respectivelyjust under 30 and around 23) before showing a downward trend until December ending with New York cooler than Londonwith a lower temperature in New York than in London.
Turning to Sydney, the temperature starts to decline from January to July and then rises again towards the end of the yearrises back in the end of the year after reaching a low of just above 15°Cwith the lowest point just above 15. The table shows thatFrom the table, it is observed that New York has the highest number of hours of sunshinehours exposed to the sunshine (2,535 hours)(2535 hours) which is slightly higherand that was slightly higher than that of Sydney (2473 hours). Total hours of sunshine in London was the least and that was 1180 hours.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The report gives an effective overview, compares the contrasting seasonal patterns, and accurately incorporates the annual sunshine totals. Its main weakness is grammatical control in several otherwise ambitious sentences, with faulty conjunctions, missing articles, and awkward comparative phrasing. The most useful improvement would be to preserve the clear structure while editing each complex sentence for accurate clause linking and more natural expressions of figures and time.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately presents the main temperature patterns, peaks, troughs, and all three annual sunshine totals.
Add one or two precise Sydney values to balance the detailed coverage given to London and New York.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear overview and logically ordered paragraphs create strong progression from the northern cities to Sydney and the table.
Shorten the long sentence describing London and New York so its sequence of comparisons is easier to process.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally precise, despite several unnatural combinations involving averages and sunshine exposure.
Prefer natural reporting phrases such as average annual sunshine and recorded temperatures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The report uses varied sentence forms, but recurring errors in conjunctions, articles, prepositions, and agreement remain noticeable.
Eliminate double conjunctions such as although with but and check articles and subject-verb agreement during revision.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
Your response
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