The line graph and table show the average monthly temperatures and annual hours of sunshine in three major cities.
Sample Response
The line graph and the table givegives data on average temperatures and annualyearly hours of sunshine in London, New York and Sydney.
Overall, the temperature patterns infor London and New York are similar with the hottest weather being in July while the highest average temperature in Sydney is in January. The annual sunshine totalsThe sunshine hours in New York and Sydney are nearly the same and much higher than the figure for London.
Looking at the monthly average temperatures in more detail, temperature changesthe changes in temperatures in London and New York follow similar patternsshow a similarity although New Yorkthe city in North America has warmer summers and colder winters. The average temperatures in London and New York respectivelyboth London and New York respectively peak at 2523 degrees and 3029 degrees in July, whereas January is the month when Sydney experiences the warmest weather with 25 degrees. New York’s temperatures decrease to an average of around 5 degrees in December/January, 3 degrees lower than the figure for London, while Sydney shows the lowest average temperatures in July, reaching just over 15 degrees.
As far as sunshine duration is concerned, New York and Sydney have relatively similar averages of 2,535 and 2,473 hours respectively. However, the annualannualy total of sunshine hoursaverage number of sunshine hours inacross London is much lower, atstands at a much lower rate with 1,158180 hours per year.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised and uses a varied, generally precise range of language to present clear comparisons. Its main limitation is factual accuracy: it misidentifies Sydney’s warmest month and gives several incorrect temperature and sunshine figures. The highest-priority improvement is to check every reported value against the visual and ensure the overview states the true peak and overall patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and relevant comparisons are provided, but Sydney’s peak month and several reported values do not match the visual.
Verify each figure and identify Sydney’s December peak accurately in both the overview and detail paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into a clear overview, temperature analysis, and sunshine comparison with smooth progression.
Refine links within the long temperature paragraph so each city comparison is even easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficiently varied range of topic vocabulary, although a few spellings and collocations are imprecise.
Use exact forms such as annual average and avoid awkward combinations such as sunshine hours standing at a rate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally well controlled, with occasional agreement and phrasing errors that do not impede meaning.
Check subject-verb agreement in constructions such as the line graph and table give data.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph and table show the average monthly temperatures and annual hours of sunshine in three major cities.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.