The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
Sample Response
The graph and table provide information about the average monthly temperatures and hours of sunshine in three main cities per annum.
Overall, it can be seen that the monthly temperatures of Sydney dipped slightly, whiles new york and London increased gently at the end of the period. New York experienced longer hours of sunshine than the other two citiesits counterparts.
Sydney’s average monthly temperature stood at about 26 degrees Celsiusjust over 25degree celsius, and it fell slightly to about 25 degrees in Marchit declined gently to hit 25 degrees in the third month. This figure fell todecreased to reach a low of about 16 degrees Celsius in Julya low of just over 15 degrees celsius in July before rising to about 25 degrees in Decemberincreasing to reach 25 degrees in the final month of the year. London had an average temperature of just under 10 degrees at the beginning of the period.
It roserosed marginally to reach a peak of about 23 degrees Celsiusa high of a little below 25degree celsius between July and August before witnessing a downward trajectory to hit approximately 10 degrees at the end of the yearend of the length of time. New York'syork monthly temperature started at about 4 degrees Celsiusa little under 5degree celsius in January. It increased considerably until it reached a peak of about 29 degrees Celsiusaround 30degrees in the middle of the year before falling back steadily to about 5 degrees Celsius in December5degrees at the end of the duration of time. Sydney’s monthly temperature was higher than the other citieshigher than its rivals both at the beginning and at the end of the period.
New York witnessed longer hours of sunshine, at 2,535. Close behind wasFollowing closed was Sydney, recording 2,473 hours2473hours. London saw the lowest total of sunshine hoursleast number of sunshine hours with just 1,180. While hours for new york and Sydney were quite similar, London was about twice the cities mentioned earlier.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both visuals in substantial detail, and most monthly temperatures and annual sunshine totals are accurately reported. However, the overview does not clearly capture the contrasting seasonal patterns, and the final sunshine comparison reverses London's relationship to the other cities; recurring awkward expressions also reduce precision. Prioritise a fully accurate overview and verify every comparative statement, especially that London receives roughly half as much sunshine as New York and Sydney.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most figures and seasonal movements are covered accurately, but the overview is imprecise and the final comparison about London's sunshine is reversed.
Summarise the opposing seasonal patterns clearly and check that London has about half, rather than twice, the sunshine of the other cities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically divided between the overview, temperature details, and sunshine totals, although some referencing and repetitive time expressions are awkward.
Keep each city's description together and replace vague phrases such as 'the end of the duration of time' with concise month references.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of language for trends and comparisons, but several collocations and word choices are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise combinations such as 'rose marginally,' 'recorded the second-highest total,' and 'received fewer sunshine hours.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of sentence forms, but recurring errors in verb forms, capitalization, articles, and possessives reduce control.
Proofread finite verbs and noun phrases carefully, correcting forms such as 'rose' and 'New York's monthly temperature.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.