The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.
Sample Response
The given diagram shows the steps of the consumer products manufacturing process, Deleteas is clearly shown in the diagram that goods manufacturing is a complex process from the collection of raw materialsfrom collection of raw materials to salesthe end product.
The process clearly shows that the first stageAs the process clearly shows the first stage of product development is the collection and storageis collection and storage of raw materials and manufacturing components. The second stage involves product designdesigning of the products and production planning and this stage is linked to feedbackit’s a lengthy process which includes monitoring design progresssupervision and monitoring designing progress frequently, and after testing, market research can feed back into designand before market surveys, it is necessary to test the product to assess the qualityto be aware the quality of the product. If the product is of acceptable qualityquality wise good then the next stage is packing of the products and advertising supports salesmake advertising for sale. In this production and manufacturing process, there are mainly two types of processes- the flow of manufacturing process and the flow of information feedback.
In summary, it is value chain development process that starts from collection of raw materials to the end or final product for sale, in each stage of this manufacturing process value is added to products.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response recognises the broad journey from raw materials to sale and acknowledges that information is fed back into the process. However, several essential manufacturing stages and the specific feedback routes are omitted or blurred, while long, error-prone sentences make the sequence difficult to follow. Prioritise a complete, ordered account of the production flow, followed by a separate paragraph tracing feedback from testing, sales and market research to earlier planning and design stages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies that the diagram shows manufacturing from raw materials to sale and mentions information feedback. However, it omits or blurs key stages such as assembly, inspection, testing, despatch, product research, market research and the specific feedback links.
Describe the main manufacturing flow in order, then explain how feedback from sales, testing and market research returns to earlier planning and design stages.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic introduction, body and summary, but sequencing is not consistently clear. Several stages are merged into long sentences, and feedback flows are not organised separately.
Use one body paragraph for the production process and one for the information-feedback process.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant but limited and sometimes inaccurate, with repeated process, product and manufacturing. Phrases such as quality wise good and make advertising are informal or unnatural.
Use process verbs such as proceeds to, is inspected, is tested, is packaged, is dispatched and feedback is routed back to.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors are frequent, including faulty clauses, missing articles and inaccurate verb forms. Meaning is generally understandable but often strained.
Rewrite long sentences into shorter process steps and check articles before stage, process and product.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.