The graph below shows the consumption of three spreads from 1981 to 2007.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates how many weekly hospital admissions there were in Fortsmith, Adlin, Stanton, Bardley and Oxley, which are hospitals located in a European country, between 2004 and 2018.
Overall, throughoutfor most of the period shown, Bardleyperiod given Bardley had the most admissions, while Stanton recorded the fewest admissionshad the least. Oxley was the only hospital to see a decline in admissions and Fortsmith was unique in that itstheir admission figures remained relatively stable over the period. Admissions to all other hospitals increased over the periodduring the years given.
Admissions to Oxley Hospitalhospital started at about 240 admissions per weekjust under 250 a week in 2004 but fell by more than halfmore than halved by the final year (just over 100 admissions). Weekly admissions at FortsmithFortsmith weekly hospital admissions fluctuated around 200fluctuated at around 200 for the whole period.
MeanwhileOn the other hand, the number of people admitted to Adlin Hospitalhospital more than doubledrose dramatically from just over 100 in the first year to 250 by 2018. Likewise, Bardley also saw a rise from 200 to a peak of about 270from 200 to peak at over 250, the highest for any hospital. In terms of Stanton hospital, only approximately 8070 people were admitted in 2004 and this gradually climbed to about 160slightly over 150 in 2018.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is fluent, clearly organised, and gives an accurate overview and detailed comparisons for the hospital-admissions graph included with the materials. Its decisive limitation is that it does not address the stated task about consumption of three spreads, omitting every relevant series and trend from that chart. The highest-priority improvement is therefore to verify the assigned visual and report butter, margarine, and low-fat spread data rather than describing a different graph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Although the hospital-admissions data are summarised accurately, the response does not address the stated spreads task and omits all of its key features.
Describe the consumption trends for butter, margarine, and low-fat spreads, including their peaks, declines, and final values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overview, logical grouping, effective paragraphing, and smooth progression throughout.
Preserve this structure while ensuring that every paragraph develops information from the assigned chart.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary for trends and comparisons is varied, precise, and generally natural, with only occasional slightly awkward phrasing.
Use the same lexical control with vocabulary tailored to spread consumption, such as peaked, declined, and overtook.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor lapses do not impede communication.
Refine occasional reference and collocation choices, such as singular agreement when referring to an individual hospital.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the consumption of three spreads from 1981 to 2007.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.