The graph below shows the information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
Sample Response
The bar chart showsrendered vertical bar graph manifests the information regarding the proportion of employed individuals in six nations, namelysix nations namely, Australia, Switzerland, New Zealand, Iceland, Britain, and the USA, over the decade from 1995 to 2005about one decade from 1995 to 2005. The data has been presented as percentagescalibrated in percentage.
Overall, the striking feature is that the men had a higher employment rates thanbetter employment record as compared to the women throughout the periodgiven tenure. Moreover, Iceland and Switzerland’s employment rates were comparatively higheremployment conditions were comparatively better than the rest of the nations.
As is presented in the given bar graph, in Australia, more than half of the men were employedmore than half of the male was employed, in 1995, while the figure rose considerablywhereas its ratio was drastically increased in the next ten years. By 70%, Switzerland and Iceland’s men possessed jobs in 1995, but it gradually grew and Iceland’s men status reached at zenith point around 80% by 2005.
The male employment ratesThe percentile of employment rates in the UK, New Zealand, and the USA was more or less similar in the initial year, about 60%. However, after a decade, the male employment rate stooda significant proportion was observed in these three nations for employed menregarding the businessmen, was just below three quartersquarter.
Further analysis regarding the females reveals that, in 1995, a quarter of women were employed for the job, in Australia. Whereas merely one-tenth of females were inclined in the next ten years. The females’ employment ratio was only 55% in 1995, while it reached 70% in 2005, in Switzerland. The percentage of working women in Iceland was just over 40%, in 1995. On the other hand, its ratio was escalated and reached exactly half.
The proportion of employed women in New Zealand and America rose slightly from 47% in 1995 and after a decade it consisted of 60%. In the UK, the percentile of working females was more than half whereas in the subsequent years its ratio rose by about 11 percentage pointsincreased only one-tenth.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report has a clear overview and a sensible male/female structure, and it identifies the dominant pattern that male employment was higher in every country. Its main weakness is data accuracy: it describes Australia's female change unclearly and merges New Zealand with the USA despite markedly different rates, while awkward wording sometimes obscures comparisons; the highest priority is to verify each figure against the chart and express changes in simple, precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a relevant overview and covers all countries, but some female figures and comparisons are inaccurate or unclear.
Check each country's four bars separately and report the most important changes without combining countries that show different values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from an overview to male and female data, with generally clear paragraph grouping.
Use clearer comparison sentences and avoid fragments or loosely connected clauses that interrupt the flow.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent unsuitable choices such as 'percentile,' 'businessmen,' and 'inclined' reduce precision.
Prefer standard chart language such as 'percentage,' 'employment rate,' 'rose,' and 'reached' throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, although recurring agreement, article, pronoun, and sentence-boundary errors weaken control.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and complete, cleanly punctuated sentences before adding more complex structures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.