The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
Sample Response
The bar graph illustrates how many mobile phones were soldhad been sold out in 2009, 2011 and 2013in three different years (2009,2011 and 2013) by five brands, namely Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG and ZTE, worldwidein the whole world.
Overall, Nokia's salesNokia company sales stood at the top, while ZTE's mobile phone salesZTE cellphones sales were the lowestwere bottom. An increasing trend was observed in the case of Samsung's, Apple's and ZTE's salesSamsung, Apple and ZTE brand’s sales. Conversely, a decreasing trend existed in sales of Nokia and LG phonesthe number of Nokia and LG brands sold in the three different periods.
With regardregards to Nokia, in 2009, more than 400 million units were sold and then the figure decreased slightlyexperienced a slight decrease in 2011. After this point, there was a significant fall in sales to about 250 million units in 2013. Likewise, sales declineda decline was present in sales by LG company. However, the fall was not rapid.
In terms of sales by Samsung, sales showed a remarkable upward trendthe remarkable upward trend in sales was there over the period.while it started only with just over 200 million units in the first year, it reached a peak of around 450 million in 2013.
In the same way, Apple company sold very few units in the first year, and it rose gradually to the end.ZTE company sold fewer units in comparison to other brands' salesother brands sales. However, sales grewthere was a growth over the period with almost the same numberthe almost same number of units sold in 2011 and 2013.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the direction of change for all five brands and gives reasonably accurate detail for Nokia and Samsung. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes misleading selection: the overview implies Nokia remained highest, while Samsung became the leading brand in 2013, and Apple, LG, and ZTE receive little numerical support. The priority is to state the leadership change accurately and add selective figures for the less-developed series.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends are identified and Nokia and Samsung are developed with suitable figures, but the overview misses Samsung's overtaking of Nokia and several brands lack adequate numerical detail.
Highlight the change in market leader and support Apple, LG, and ZTE with selected start and end values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses clearly from overview to brand-specific details, though the short separate sections and faulty sentence boundaries sometimes interrupt the flow.
Group rising and falling brands into two balanced detail paragraphs and ensure each new sentence begins cleanly.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to describe trends, but awkward collocations such as 'sold out,' 'sales were bottom,' and 'the upward trend was there' recur.
Use precise chart language such as 'units sold,' 'recorded the lowest sales,' and 'rose sharply.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Several complex structures are attempted successfully, but recurring article, agreement, possessive, capitalization, and punctuation errors weaken accuracy.
Edit sentence boundaries and noun phrases carefully, especially company names, possessives, articles, and subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.