The graph below shows the percentage of New Zealand primary school students learning a second language by language learned for the years 2006 to 2014.
Sample Response
The graph shows the percentages of New Zealand primary school students who were learning a second language from 2006 to 2014for the years 2006 to 2014.
It can be clearly seen that the popularity of various languages amongst school children changed over the years. Even languages that started off as equally popular in 2006 changed in popularityexperienced a change in demand by 2014.
In 2006, the most common second language students learned in New Zealand primary schools was French (29%), with Japanese (28%) following very closelyclose behind. In 2014, the most common second language learned in primary school was still French at around the same percentage; however, the second most commonsame percentage, however, the second most common had switched to Spanish (23%). Japanese dropped from its 2006 high of 28% to 17% in 2014.
The two least commonly learned second languages were German and Chinese. Chinese, which in 2006 had been the least commonly learned language at under 5%, dramatically increased and reached around 12% in 2014. German, which in 2006 had been the highest of the three least commonly learned languagesthe most common of the bottom three of the results given with 12%, steadily decreased to around 6% in 2014. “Other languages” groups various languages that are not stated. This category stood at 7%These were at 7% in 2006, but became more popular over the years, reaching around 9% in 2014 after having peaked in the previous year.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its accurate selection of key figures and its clear, economical organization, with the major changes in French, Japanese, Chinese, German, and other languages presented precisely. Its main limitation is that the overview remains generic and does not explicitly synthesize the dominant trends. Prioritize a sharper overview identifying French’s overall stability, Japanese’s decline, and the contrasting rises in Spanish and Chinese.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately reports most key endpoints and trends, but its overview does not clearly summarize the graph’s principal patterns.
State the dominant trends explicitly in the overview, especially French’s stability, Japanese’s decline, and the rises in Spanish and Chinese.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through a concise overview and well-focused detail paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Refine the link between the two detail paragraphs so the contrasting upward and downward trends form an even more unified comparison.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of vocabulary describes rankings, changes, and approximate data with only minor awkwardness.
Prefer neutral graph language such as popularity or participation over the slightly interpretive phrase change in demand.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence structures is controlled accurately, with only isolated minor slips in punctuation and adverb form.
Polish small details such as using closely after following and punctuating however correctly when it joins contrasting clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the percentage of New Zealand primary school students learning a second language by language learned for the years 2006 to 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.