The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began.
Sample Response
The two charts give information about the numbers of male and female athletesthe gender and number of athletes who have entered the Games since they started. The bar chart illustrates the number of men and women entering the Games, whereas the line graph shows the total number of participants.number of participants.
It is evident from the bar chart that, until 2012, there were always significantly more men entering the Games than women. In 1924 and 1952, there were hardly any women entering the Games, yet in 1952 there were over 4,000 male participants. In 2012, however, the number of female athletes rose significantly to nearly 5,000, approximately 1,000 fewer than the number of male participantsonly approximately 1,000 lower than male participants.
The line graph shows a similar trend, with the number of participants rising at every recorded point from 1924 to 2012increasing throughout the century. The most significant increase occurred between 1984 and 2012, when the number of athletes rose from just over 6,000 to over 10,000 in 2012.
OverallTo summarise therefore, since 1924 the number of athletes entering the Olympic GamesOlympic Games, has increased dramatically. This is particularly the case for women, who are now represented in nearly the same numbers as male participants.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response provides a clear, well-selected overview and accurately highlights the strongest changes in participation, especially the dramatic rise in female athletes. Its main limitation is that it gives relatively little detail about the intermediate years and occasionally uses slightly awkward phrasing. The highest-priority improvement is to compare the 1924, 1952, and 1984 figures more systematically while preserving the concise structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate key figures capture the major overall growth and the especially sharp rise in female participation.
Support the overview with a more systematic comparison of male, female, and total figures across the intermediate years.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the gender comparison to total participation, with clear paragraphing and well-controlled links.
Make the final summary more economical by avoiding repetition of trends already stated in the overview and body.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural enough to describe trends and comparisons with very little strain.
Refine occasional slightly awkward wording such as repeated references to participants and entering the Games.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Check final punctuation carefully, particularly the unnecessary comma separating the subject from the verb in the conclusion.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.