The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.
Sample Response
The graph presents data on prison populationsdata on the figures for imprisonment in five countries from 1930 to 1980.
Overall, the data shows considerable fluctuations in the figures for imprisonmentimprisonments in those countries without revealing a single common patternwhile showing no solid pattern.
In Great Britain, the number of prisoners steadily increased from 30 thousand to about 85,000over 80 thousand in five decades. It is interesting to note that Great Britain had the smallest prison populationlowest imprisonment in 1930, but Australia had the lowest figureit was Australia who stood at that position in 1980. On the other hand, the figures in Australia and New Zealand remarkably declined except in 1970. Australia, despite having a prison population of 70,000an imprisonment number of over 70 thousand in 1930, saw it fallmanaged to reduce it by 20,000 by 1980by 20 thousand in 1980. New Zealand managed to reduce its prison populationtheir imprisonment number from 100,000 in 1930 to 50,000 in 1950from 100 thousand in 1930 to half of it in just two decades before rising steadily thereafterbut again witnessed a steady rise afterwards. The United States had a prison population of 130,000130 thousand imprisonment number in 1940 and it was slightly higher, at about 135,000, in 1980slightly higher in 1980. Finally, the imprisonment number in Canada was 120 thousand in 1930, the highest among the given countries, and after some major fluctuations, stood atwith some major fluctuations, stayed at 90 thousand in 1980.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers all five countries with relevant figures and generally clear comparisons, and its language allows the trends to be followed easily. Its main weakness is an overly general overview that misses the most striking patterns, particularly the sustained dominance of the United States and Canada and Britain’s rise. Prioritise a more specific overview, then refine awkward expressions such as the repeated phrase imprisonment number for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses all five countries with mostly accurate figures, but the overview is too vague and the claim about Australian and New Zealand declines is imprecise.
State the clearest overall patterns, including the consistently high North American figures and Britain’s sustained rise, before presenting selected details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to country-by-country comparisons, with cohesive devices generally used effectively.
Group countries by similar trends rather than placing every detailed comparison in one long paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of trend and comparison vocabulary is used, though several collocations such as imprisonment number and stood at that position are awkward.
Use precise combinations such as number of prisoners, recorded the lowest figure, and fell substantially.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, with only occasional agreement and pronoun-reference problems.
Check agreement and reference carefully, especially in constructions involving collective figures and country names.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.