The graph below shows the average salaries earned by people with different levels of education.
Sample Response
The provided bar chart compares salaries earned by people based on their educational qualificationsqualification. As an overall trend, those who have people with higher degrees generally earn morehigher degrees generally earn more and people with postgraduate qualificationspost-graduates or more qualified professionals earn around annual salaries about 60% to 70% higher60% to 70% higher wages annually than high school diploma holders. To beginholders To begin with, high school diploma holderspeople who have a high school diploma earnreceive an annual salary of 30 thousand dollars30 thousand dollars annual salary, on average. PeopleJob holders with bachelor'sBachelor's degrees earnare entitled to get 10 thousand dollars more10 thousand more as remuneration. Additionally, Master's Degree allows an average person to earn as much as 49 thousand dollars in a year, while for PhD, the payroll increases to over 50 thousand dollars a year, which is more than 20 and around 10 thousand dollars higher than that of high school diploma and Bachelor degree holders, respectively. It is worth noticing that people with Master's Degree or PhD earn over 20 thousand dollars more than those with just school certificates. The differenceAlso, the difference in earnings between adjacent levels of educationtwo close levels of education gradually becomesbecome smaller.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear upward relationship between education and salary, with a useful overview and coverage of every qualification level. Its main weakness is imprecision in several comparisons—such as describing the bachelor's increase as $10,000 and the PhD salary as over $50,000—alongside some awkward wording and sentence control. Prioritise exact values and differences, then proofread punctuation, agreement, and article use.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview accurately captures the positive relationship and the response covers all four education levels, though several differences are only approximate.
Report the exact figures of about $30,000, $42,000, $49,000, and $50,000 and calculate comparisons directly from them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a logical overview-to-detail progression and uses comparisons effectively, but the single-paragraph presentation and missing sentence break reduce clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and begin "To begin with" as a clearly punctuated detail paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, including language for qualifications, earnings, and comparisons, although some choices are awkward or overstated.
Prefer precise neutral terms such as "earn," "annual salary," and "degree holders" instead of "are entitled to get" or "payroll increases."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with mostly clear meaning, but punctuation, agreement, articles, and possessive forms contain noticeable errors.
Proofread sentence boundaries and forms such as "an annual salary," "bachelor's degree holders," and "the difference becomes smaller."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the average salaries earned by people with different levels of education.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.