The diagram below shows how salt is removed from seawater to make it drinkable.
Sample Response
The given diagrampicture illustrates the process of producing drinking waterprocess of pure water from seawatersaltwaterfor an integrated water supply system, which has been carried out to water supply management.
Overall, there are four steps. It startsI am starting by collecting seawaterthe saltwater and converting it into drinkingunadulterated water.
To commence with, the procedure starts withfrom the intake of seawater intointake of saltwater to the pre-treatment filterfilter area, where filter backwashsome of the unwanted molecules is dischargedwill be back washed again into the sea. NextIn the next, the water is forcedhas been forced through the membrane at high pressure so that water molecules pass through while salt and impurities are retained( because the high-pressure water molecules have been separated into and salt and impurities ), and impurities and salt are returned to the seawill return back to the water.
Next, the water is then transferredwater molecules are now transferred into the post-treatment chamber. In this step, the water is treated with lime, chlorine and fluoridethe water molecules have been filtered with lime, chloride and fluoride. This purified water is then storedThis pure water now has been stored, and then it is supplied tointo the integrated water supply system.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response follows the process in a broadly logical order and mentions the main treatment stages, from seawater intake to storage and supply. Its effectiveness is reduced by factual imprecision about where the rejected salt and impurities go, as well as frequent awkward or malformed sentences. The priority is to describe each flow accurately in clear present-simple passive sentences, especially the membrane and return-to-sea stages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main sequence is covered and an overview is present, but some process details are inaccurate or insufficiently precise.
State clearly that filter backwash and seawater concentrate are returned to the sea, while treated water proceeds to post-treatment, storage, and supply.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is divided into sensible stages and generally follows the diagram's left-to-right sequence, despite some disruptive phrasing.
Use direct stage transitions and remove the long parenthetical clause so the membrane stage forms one clear step.
Lexical Resource
Relevant process vocabulary is attempted, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise terms such as desalination, treated with chlorine, and returned to the sea instead of unadulterated water, filtered with chloride, and return back to the water.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in tense, clause structure, articles, and coordination reduce clarity.
Describe the fixed process consistently with controlled present-simple passives, for example water is forced through the membrane and the concentrate is returned to the sea.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how salt is removed from seawater to make it drinkable.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.