The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area.
Sample Response
The bar chart presents information on Medical research funding in Someland while the second graph shows the number of death in this area from six diseases in 1990. Overall, the highest amount of funding was allocated to research AIDS while the highest death could be observed from TB, a disease. As is presented in the first graph, more than 400 million was funded in Someland’s Medical research and out of this approximately 175 million went on AIDS funding. Leprosy and Tropical Diseases funding amounted about 75 million each and the lowest funding was allowed for TB. Malaria and Diarrhea finding received 50 and 60 million consecutively. The second graph shows that the highest number of death in Someland was caused by TB. It shows a relationship between the Medical research funding on a disease and the death caused by this diseases in this area. Since the lowest amount was funded for TB, the highest number of death was caused by this diseases. A very similar trend could be observed for all the other diseases and the lowest number of death was from AIDS which got the highest Medical research funding in Someland.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use lowercase common noun Original: Medical Suggested revision: medical Why it matters: Medical is a common adjective here and should not be capitalized.
- 2. Use plural deaths Original: number of death in this area from six diseases Suggested revision: number of deaths in this area caused by six diseases Why it matters: Number of requires the countable plural deaths, and caused by expresses the relationship clearly.
- 3. Use concise reporting phrase Original: As is presented in the first graph Suggested revision: As shown in the first graph Why it matters: This is a more natural and concise way to refer to visual information.
- 4. Name the allocation clearly Original: more than 400 million was funded Suggested revision: more than $400 million was allocated Why it matters: Funds are allocated, while funded normally requires a project or activity as its object.
- 5. Link the proportion clearly Original: and out of this approximately Suggested revision: , of which approximately Why it matters: The relative phrase links the AIDS figure directly to the total allocation.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: went on AIDS funding Suggested revision: went towards AIDS research Why it matters: Went towards research is the natural expression for how funding was allocated.
- 7. Add required preposition Original: amounted about Suggested revision: amounted to about Why it matters: The verb amounted requires the preposition to before a figure.
- 8. Use allocation language Original: lowest funding was allowed for TB Suggested revision: least funding was allocated to TB Why it matters: Allocated to accurately describes the funding decision shown in the chart.
- 9. Correct funding typo Original: Diarrhea finding Suggested revision: Diarrhoea funding Why it matters: Finding is a spelling error for funding in this context.
- 10. Match figures respectively Original: consecutively Suggested revision: respectively Why it matters: Respectively links the two diseases to the two figures in the order given.
- 11. Use plural deaths Original: death Suggested revision: deaths Why it matters: Number of requires the plural countable noun deaths.
- 12. Use funding preposition Original: Medical research funding on a disease Suggested revision: medical research funding for a disease Why it matters: Funding for is the correct collocation when naming its purpose.
Suggested Rewrites
- Medical medical
- number of death in this area from six diseases number of deaths in this area caused by six diseases
- As is presented in the first graph As shown in the first graph
- more than 400 million was funded more than $400 million was allocated
- and out of this approximately , of which approximately
- went on AIDS funding went towards AIDS research
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear identification of the highest funding for AIDS and the highest death toll for TB, supported by generally accurate funding figures. However, coverage of the deaths chart is too limited, with virtually no figures or comparison of the four middle diseases, while recurrent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. Prioritize a balanced comparison of both charts using selected death figures and carefully controlled noun forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main extremes and inverse relationship are identified accurately, but the deaths chart receives very limited supporting data and comparison.
Add selected death figures and compare the middle diseases across both charts rather than describing almost all funding data but only the death extremes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a generally clear sequence from introduction and overview to funding and deaths, though the single-block presentation and repeated causal claims weaken progression.
Use distinct overview and detail paragraphs, then group the two charts through concise comparisons instead of repeating the funding-death relationship.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some effective comparative language, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Use standard combinations such as funding was allocated to, deaths were caused by, and respectively for the paired figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear overall, but recurring errors with articles, plurals, agreement, and noun phrases limit grammatical control.
Check every reference to deaths, diseases, and funding for correct singular-plural agreement and complete article use.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.