Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Sample Response
The provided line graph illustrates the acid level in the mouth which is caused by the consumption of cane sugar, fruit sugar, and honey. As is shown in the graph, the higher the acid level, the lower the pH level. It is also illustrated that a pH level less than 5.5 is the stage when tooth decay occurs. It is significant that the initial pH level in our mouth is 7, and it drops the moment we eat sugar. In the first 5 minutes, the graph shows that eating cane sugar results in a major drop in the pH level which reaches 3.5 and then begins to increase very slowly in half an hour. During this phase, tooth decay is most likely to happen. It is almost the same when eating fruit sugar, as the pH level drops to less than 4.5 in 5 minutes, and remains at the detrimental level for about 20 minutes. Moreover, the pH level drops to less than 5 when honey is taken, and it possesses the threat of tooth decay for only 10 minutes. So, honey is the least dangerous among the three kinds of food items. In summary, it appears that cane sugar is the most detrimental one for our dental health while honey is the safest one.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe the measured change Original: acid level in the mouth which is caused by the consumption Suggested revision: changes in mouth acidity caused by consuming Why it matters: The graph tracks changing acidity after consumption rather than a single acid level caused by the foods.
- 2. Use a level clause Original: less than 5.5 is the stage when tooth decay occurs Suggested revision: below 5.5 is the level at which tooth decay occurs Why it matters: A pH value is a level, and the relative clause needs the preposition 'at'.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: our Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The singular noun does not agree naturally with the plural possessive pronoun.
- 4. Cover all three foods Original: the moment we eat sugar Suggested revision: immediately after these foods are consumed Why it matters: The visual includes honey as well as two types of sugar, so the wording should cover every series.
- 5. Name the threshold Original: at the detrimental level Suggested revision: below the tooth-decay threshold Why it matters: The proposed phrase states the graph's threshold more precisely.
- 6. Use natural consumption wording Original: when honey is taken Suggested revision: after honey is consumed Why it matters: 'Consumed' is the natural verb for describing the effect of eating honey.
- 7. Fix the collocation Original: possesses the threat of tooth decay Suggested revision: poses a risk of tooth decay Why it matters: English uses 'poses a risk' rather than 'possesses the threat' in this context.
- 8. Remove redundant wording Original: three kinds of food items Suggested revision: three foods Why it matters: 'Kinds of food items' is unnecessarily wordy for these three products.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: In the first 5 minutes, the graph shows that eating cane sugar results in a major drop in the pH level which reaches 3.5 and then begins to increase very slowly in half an hour. Suggested revision: In the first five minutes, cane sugar causes the pH level to fall to about 3.5, after which it rises gradually and returns to 7 at 40 minutes. Why it matters: The original timing is unclear and does not accurately report the cane-sugar line's return to its initial level.
- 10. Compare both recovery measures Suggested revision: Add a direct comparison of how long each substance remains below pH 5.5 and when each line returns to the initial pH of 7. Why it matters: The visual supports a clearer comparison of both decay-risk duration and full recovery time across all three substances.
Suggested Rewrites
- acid level in the mouth which is caused by the consumption changes in mouth acidity caused by consuming
- less than 5.5 is the stage when tooth decay occurs below 5.5 is the level at which tooth decay occurs
- our the
- the moment we eat sugar immediately after these foods are consumed
- at the detrimental level below the tooth-decay threshold
- when honey is taken after honey is consumed
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, accurate comparison of the three foods, supported by relevant pH values and a useful conclusion about relative dental risk. Its main limitation is that some timing descriptions are imprecise and the recovery patterns are not compared fully. Prioritise a sharper overview and systematic comparison of how long each food remains below the danger threshold and returns to neutral pH.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately identifies the principal differences in minimum pH and dental risk.
Compare the recovery times more systematically and state the threshold durations with greater precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the shared starting point through the three foods to a concise conclusion.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs to make the comparison structure more immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
A good range of relevant vocabulary communicates the trends and dental implications clearly, despite a few awkward collocations.
Replace phrases such as ‘possesses the threat’ with more natural expressions such as ‘poses a risk’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures are generally accurate and meaning remains consistently clear.
Refine occasional awkward clauses and use more concise comparative structures when reporting durations.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.