The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the female unemployment ratesunemployment rates among women in the four countries of the United Kingdomcountries that make up the United Kingdom, in 2013 and 2014both in 2013 and in 2014. Overall, there wasThere has generally been a small decrease in female unemployment rates from 2013 to 2014, except in Scotland. In 2013, 5.6% of women in Northern Ireland were unemployed. The only country with a lower female unemployment ratesmaller percentage of women unemployed was Wales, with a rate of 5.4%. Both countries saw a decrease in the percentage of unemployed women in 2014. In Northern Ireland, the percentage fell to 4.6% and in Wales it fell to 5%. England had the highestgreatest percentage of unemployed women in 2013, with 6.8%. However, this decreased by 0.3% in 2014. Lastly, Scotland was the only country which recorded an increase in female unemploymenthad an increasing percentage of unemployed women. In 2013, it had 6.1% of women out of work. This increased to 6.7% in 2014, making it the country with the highest female unemployment rate of the four countries.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear, accurate overview and supports it with all eight country-year figures, while highlighting Scotland's contrasting rise and the changes in ranking. Its main weakness is presentation: the whole report is written as one paragraph, and repeated wording slightly limits fluency. Divide the overview and detailed comparisons into purposeful paragraphs, then vary language for rates and changes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview is accurate and every country is covered with correct figures, changes, and relevant comparisons.
Refine the overview by also noting that England and Scotland had the highest rates across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a clear country-by-country progression, but presenting everything in one paragraph weakens the visible organization.
Separate the overview from the supporting detail and group the falling rates apart from Scotland's increase.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for describing unemployment data, though percentage and unemployment wording is repeated frequently.
Vary repeated references with precise alternatives such as rate, proportion, decline, and rise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and well controlled, with accurate comparison, subordination, and tense use throughout.
Maintain this control while using a wider range of concise comparative structures to reduce repetition.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.