The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the employment categories of adultsrepresents which different fields adults were working in 2003 and in 2013 in the United States.
Overall, the number of people working in the medical and business fieldsfield decreased in 2013 compared with 2003decreased in 2013 as compared to 2003. Unemployment also decreasedreduced in 2013. In all the remaining categoriesall the other fields, employment was higher in 2013 than in 2003employment increased in 2013 than in 2003.
In the year 2003, individuals working in education training were approximately 8%approximately above 5%, those in the hotel industry accounted for about 4%in the hotel industry were below 5% and in constructionin the building were nearly 10%, while in 2013, people involved in these three categories increased to approximately 18–20%nearly 15-20%. In 2013, the proportion ofIn 2013 employees working as self-employed individuals more than doubled compared with 2003rose more than double as compared to 2003.
The proportion working in the medical fieldIndividuals who used to work in the medical industry fell by halfwere reduced to half in 2013in a later year. In 2003 more adults worked in businessindividuals were involved in running a business (approx 47%) falling to about 28%which decreased to 27% in 2013. Unemployment decreased to 5 % in 2013 and nearly 10% in 2003.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear overview and selects accurate comparisons across all seven employment categories, supported by several relevant figures. Organization is logical, but recurring grammatical and collocational problems make some comparisons sound awkward or imprecise, particularly descriptions of people being reduced or categories increasing than others. Focus first on forming accurate comparative sentences while retaining the effective overview-and-details structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies every direction of change, and the supporting details cover all categories with generally accurate values and comparisons.
State the three related increases with separate approximate figures instead of compressing them into the broad range of 15–20%.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to grouped increases and decreases, with clear paragraphing and generally effective referencing.
Make links between individual figures more explicit so that long comparative sentences remain easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses adequate employment and trend vocabulary, although several imprecise collocations weaken an otherwise clear description.
Replace awkward phrases such as “individuals were reduced” with precise forms such as “the proportion employed in medicine fell.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the data clearly, but errors in comparatives, agreement, and clause construction recur.
Practise structures such as “rose from X to Y” and “was higher in 2013 than in 2003” to make comparisons consistently accurate.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.