The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in the USA.
Sample Response
The given bar graph depicts the annual heart-attack figuresinformation related to heart attacks by age and sex in the United States of America.
It is clear from the graph that in the age group of 29–4429 to 44, there are 123 thousand men compared with 3 thousand womenmore men (123) as compared to women (3) who are prone to heart attacks. In the age group of 45–6445 to 64, the number of menboys rose to 424 thousandclimbed to (424) whereaswhereas, the figure for women, at 136 thousand, was still lower than that for menthe figures of ladies (136) are still less than the number of males who are affected by heart attacksattached to a heart attack.
Furthermore, the figures for both men and women rosethe number of males and females shoot up drastically in the 65+ age groupage group of senior citizens. 374 thousand women had heart attacks(374) women are prone to a heart attack, while 440 thousand menmen (440) are had a higher figurelikely to be more attacked by a heart attack.
Overall, the figure for men is highernumber of men are more than that for womenas compared to women who are prone to heart attacks in all age groups in the USA.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response includes every age group and both genders, and its chronological organisation makes the broad rise with age easy to follow. However, it describes people as being prone to attacks instead of reporting annual attack totals, omits the thousands unit, and uses several unnatural phrases. Prioritise precise chart language and units, especially when identifying what the numbers measure and summarising both the age trend and gender gap.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All six values are reported accurately and the overview identifies the consistent gender gap, but the response omits the thousands unit and does not clearly summarise the increase with age.
Describe the figures as annual heart-attack totals in thousands and include both the age-related rise and the narrowing gender gap in the overview.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows the age groups in a logical sequence and uses clear paragraphing, though connections are sometimes mechanical.
Link comparisons more directly within each age group and avoid unnecessary transitions where the chronological order already provides progression.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in trend and comparison vocabulary, but repeated inappropriate terms such as “boys,” “ladies,” “attached,” and “more attacked” reduce precision.
Use neutral labels such as “men” and “women” alongside accurate phrases such as “recorded” or “experienced heart attacks.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex comparative sentences, but agreement, tense, punctuation, and passive-form errors occur frequently despite generally clear meaning.
Maintain consistent past tense and correct subject-verb agreement, especially in sentences comparing male and female totals.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in the USA.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.