You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain your situation - describe your problems - tell him/her when you think you can move in

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 6.5–7)

Sample Response

1

Dear Mrs Anna,Dear Mrs Anna, I have recently agreed to rent your apartment, and I am supposed to move inthere on August 1st. I am afraid I cannot do so in August due to some personal problems. I am hoping that you would allow me to move into your apartment at the beginning of September instead. I am Koharu Rio, and I signedI am Koharu Rio, signed a rental agreement with you on July 15th and I am due to move into your apartment C4 located in Cranberry Street on the 1st of August. I have already paid you two months’ renttwo months rent upfront. However, the sudden news of my mother-in-law's illnesssickness has forced us to change our planspropels us to change our plan. My husband, my children and II along with my husband and children will travel to Japan sometime next week. I am not sure how long we will be staying there but I expect it will be at least a weekit would not be less than a week I guess. After we get back from Japan, both my husband and I will bemy husband and I both will be terribly busy to catch up on our workcover our work at our offices and hence moving houseshifting our house would be impossible for us. I would request you to consider my circumstances and allow me to move into your apartment at the beginning of September. I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding this requestregarding this. Yours sincerely, Koharu Rio

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The letter clearly explains the delayed move, the family emergency behind it and the requested September date, maintaining an appropriately polite purpose throughout. Its main limitation is linguistic and organisational control: repetition, one dense block and awkward expressions are compounded by recurring errors in clauses, possessives, articles and word order. Prioritise restructuring the message into short purposeful paragraphs and proofreading each sentence for natural collocations and grammatical accuracy.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The letter explains the delayed move, the family emergency and the new preferred move-in time.

Next step

Keep the relevant content, then revise the wording and organisation points highlighted in the essay comments.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The ideas are relevant but presented in one dense block with some repetition.

Next step

Use clearer paragraphing and smoother links so each bullet point is easy to follow.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is sufficient, but several collocations are unnatural, such as “propels us” and “shifting our house”.

Next step

Prefer natural collocations and precise topic vocabulary over overformal or translated-sounding phrases.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

Grammar errors in clauses, possessives, articles and word order are frequent enough to reduce accuracy.

Next step

Proofread tense, articles, prepositions and sentence boundaries before submitting.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter:

- explain your situation

- describe your problems

- tell him/her when you think you can move in

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.