You have learned that a financial organisation in your city gives money as a loan to students who like to take a part-time course. You are interested to do the course and have decided to take a loan. Write a letter to a local financial organisation. In your letter: - give your qualifications and work experience - give details about the course - explain how this course will help you
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about the student loans your bank offersthe loan your bank disburses to aspiring students for selected affiliated coursesfor a few affiliated courses. I intend to takeI am willing to take a part-time Microsoft Office course at Skill Tech and am hopingand hoping that you would grant me a small loan. PleasePlease, allow me to providelet me take a minute to provide you with some details of my qualifications and experiencedetails about me and my background. I hold a degree in internal auditingInternal Auditing, and most of my work is computer-basedmost of my works are based on computers. To date, I have conducted internal audits of many organizations ranging from small companies to large public companies. However,But still, I don’t have a good command offacile command in Microsoft Office as most of my previous clients used alternative softwarethe alternative software. I came to know that your organization offers loans of up to one thousand dollarsgrants fund up to one thousand dollars to students who want to take such courses. I believe this course will greatly help me in my upcoming audit assignments and will make me stand out from the rest of my peers. My intention in writing this letter is to ask that you consider acknowledging a self-motivated individual who could make the most of your funds. I would, therefore, request you to grantgrand me a loan of $1,000, which$1000 which I am willing to repay within the next year. Hoping to receive your supportive reply soon. Yours faithfully, Sameed Qureshi
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly requests a loan and gives substantial information about the applicant's qualifications, auditing experience, chosen course, and expected professional benefit. Its main limitation is uneven language control: several awkward collocations, word-form errors, and incomplete constructions reduce clarity and formality, while the course details remain somewhat brief. Prioritise precise, idiomatic wording and add practical course information such as duration and total cost.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The communicative purpose and all bullet points are addressed, with strong background and benefit details but limited practical information about the course.
Add the course duration, schedule, fee, and start date so the lender has enough information to assess the request.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response develops a logical sequence from the request to background, benefits, and repayment, but lacks visible paragraph divisions.
Group the loan purpose, qualifications, course details, and professional benefits into separate focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but recurrent awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as "most of my works," "grants fund," and "acknowledging a self-motivated individual" with natural formal alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, though several agreement, complementation, and sentence-fragment errors weaken control.
Correct structures such as "I am willing ... and hoping," "your organization grants fund," and the fragment "Hoping to receive your supportive reply soon."
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have learned that a financial organisation in your city gives money as a loan to students who like to take a part-time course. You are interested to do the course and have decided to take a loan. Write a letter to a local financial organisation. In your letter:
- give your qualifications and work experience
- give details about the course
- explain how this course will help you
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.