Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
With the advent of the Internet, advertisements, originally displayed only on TV, billboards, posters and so on, are becoming increasingly ubiquitous and commonplace for the general public. In my view, advertising's impactthis kind of impact could be both crucial and, to some extenton a certain level, detrimental.
On the one hand, this phenomenon could denote that although we have already had a diverse range of advertisementsadvertisement, people are still capable of inventing innovative approaches catering for all kinds of advertising needsrequirements of advertising. It is evidence ofa symbol that demonstrates human creativitythe creativity rooted in human beings. Apart from that, it also showsrepresents that the speed at which information spreadsthe speed of spreading information is increasing rapidlyconspicuously escalating. More purposeful is, therefore, the fact that, besides booming of the advertising, it constitutes a major reason why people could be so prosperous in this digital age.
On the other hand, there are various unpleasant consequences as well. Firstly, with the omnipresent advertisement, it could potentially cause people to do impulsive shopping. Secondly, advertising, if poorly regulatedthe advertisement, if regulated in a mismanaged method, could make people constantly feel uncomfortable or annoyed. In this sense, instead of being an instrumental tool to promote products and servicespromote amenities, advertisements could be considered a hindrance when people are frequently interruptedblocked by them. Furthermore, it would cost people valuable timecost one precious time to have to separate helpful ads from a host of irrelevant onessift the helpful ad from a host of others.
In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, advertising is a generally beneficial phenomenona beneficial phenomenon for all with a number of insignificant drawbacks. I believe that in the future we can improve current advertising practicesthe way advertising is done at present, and embrace the positive influence of advertising furthereven further in the long run.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a balanced position and organises its discussion clearly into benefits and drawbacks, with enough explanation to make the main line of thought easy to follow. Its main limitation is that the positive discussion often moves away from the prompt's specific claim about priorities and harmful effects, while imprecise phrasing weakens otherwise ambitious language; the priority is to develop directly relevant reasons in more natural, precise English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A discernible position is maintained and both beneficial and harmful effects are discussed, but several positive points relate only indirectly to the prompt's central claim.
Build each main paragraph around a direct judgment about how advertising changes people's priorities or affects their lives, supported by a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although some referencing and linking expressions are vague or awkward.
Use explicit topic sentences and replace unclear references such as broad uses of 'this phenomenon' with the exact idea being connected.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a wide vocabulary and attempts precise formal expression, but recurrent collocation and word-form problems reduce naturalness.
Prioritise accurate common collocations, especially for advertising, information sharing, regulation, and spending, rather than selecting unnecessarily elaborate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used successfully enough for meaning to remain clear, despite recurring article, number, and preposition errors.
Proofread noun phrases systematically for singular-plural agreement, articles, and dependent prepositions while retaining the effective sentence variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.