Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sample Response
The question of whetherThe question whether art education is necessary for children at school has attracted considerable public attentionhas drawn much attention from the public. While some people argue that teaching artteaching art subjects is a waste of time, I believe that it is beneficialsignificant for children to learn art-related subjects.
At the outset, it is thought by a handful of people that art education at school is a waste of time. There are more important subjects that would benefit children for their future liveslife. Science, technology and mathematics, for example, are highly significant subjectsof great significant subjects which allowallows students to secure good employmentfind a good job after graduation. On the other hand, studying artarts does not lead to a successful career. It is easy to see that thesethose days, most artists have been struggling to make a living from selling their artworkselling their work of art.
Despite the above arguments, from my perspective, learning art is necessary for students at school because of some importantradical reasons. Firstly, art subjects including music, drawing, painting and sculpture allow children to relaxenter a state of relaxation. After concentration on STEM subjects, what learners need is to unwind by usefully physical activities in order to make a balance. For instance, singing a song in the musicmusical class could bring positive emotionsemotion to students. Secondly, studying art could improve performance in other subjects. DeleteIt is true that art enhances fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination and problem-solving skills which may assistassists children in attaining better learning outcomes.
In conclusion, although several individuals claim that it is a waste of time for art education, it seems to me that having access to art classes is essential for children.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its complete coverage of both views and its consistently stated support for art education, with relevant reasons and examples. Its main limitation is recurring awkward or inaccurate language, which reduces precision even though the argument remains clear. The highest-priority improvement is to edit collocations, word forms, and subject-verb agreement while developing the career argument with slightly more nuanced explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both positions, gives a clear opinion, and supports the main ideas with relevant explanations and examples.
Develop the opposing view more carefully by acknowledging that art can also lead to viable careers rather than relying on a broad claim about artists.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and the progression from the opposing view to the writer's position is easy to follow.
Use less formulaic signposting and make the logical links between relaxation, transferable skills, and educational outcomes more precise.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but awkward choices such as great significant, radical reasons, and positive emotion recur.
Replace imprecise combinations with natural academic collocations and check whether each adjective, noun, and adverb form fits its sentence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences are mixed effectively, but recurring agreement, article, and structural errors reduce grammatical control.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and clause construction, especially forms such as subjects which allow and skills which may assist.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.