Australia urges Indonesia not to execute drug smugglers on death row. State your position and give the relevant reasons on how far you agree/ disagree with this.
Sample Response
Recently the broadcasting about drugs has become the big issues which occurred in Indonesia. This problem has connection including our nearer neighbour country, Australia. At presentFor this moment, there are two AustraliansAustralian who will be punished because of their actionsaction as drug smugglersas the drug smugglers in Indonesia and have disappointed many Indonesiansand so they had been made many Indonesian disappointed with what they did. However, this problem is still a controversial issue between the governments in Indonesia and Australia. The Australian prime ministerAustralian Prime minister is still trying to request a lighter sentenceslight penalty rather than the death penalty for both guys who will be executed in Indonesia. He attempts to discuss it with the president of Indonesia and also reminds him of the aid that Australia provided toremains about Australia’s aids that it had helped Indonesia when the tsunami happened around 10 years ago in Aceh. This remark has annoyed Indonesians, particularly people in Aceh, and encouraged themThis thing makes Indonesian in particular people in Aceh are annoyed and encouraging to give Australia’s money back. They are planning to collect their own gold, money, coins, and even old clothesmoney even coin and also ex-cloths from Australia and they are going to return them back to Australia. In my viewIn my point of view, the Indonesian governmentIndonesian government should consider what they might dotake it into account what might they do to solve this problem. They can consider what the Indonesian people wantcan be considered what Indonesian people want, but they must also considernotice about their relationship with other countries. It could not be ignored that they still receive many forms of foreign aid from around the worldachieve many kinds of foreign aid around the world, for instance, the familiar one is Australia Awards Scholarship (AAS) in termsterm of educational support. Many Indonesian people have earned bachelor’s, master’s, and even doctoral degreeshad achieved their bachelor, masters, and even doctoral degree using Australia’s funds. To conclude, Indonesia government might think twice to decide whether the death penalty or others capital punishment for both Australian because it can be a risk for the future association with other countries in the world.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response shows awareness of the diplomatic issue and offers a relevant reason concerning Indonesia’s future international relationships and foreign assistance. However, much of the essay recounts background events, while the writer’s precise degree of agreement remains unclear and the single-paragraph structure weakens progression. The priority is to state a direct position early, organise two distinct supporting reasons, and explain each one clearly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response engages with the death-penalty dispute and gives a relevant diplomatic consideration, but its position is indirect and insufficiently developed.
State clearly how far you agree with Australia’s request and build focused reasons that directly justify that position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a broadly understandable sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and the long chain of background details weaken overall progression.
Divide the response into an introduction, separate reason paragraphs, and a conclusion, with each paragraph centred on one main idea.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow.
Choose precise forms for punishment, aid, nationality, and diplomatic relations, and check common collocations before submission.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some longer structures are attempted and the main message is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, tense, and clause construction are frequent.
Prioritise accurate subject-verb agreement and complete clause patterns, then revise complex sentences that currently join too many ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Australia urges Indonesia not to execute drug smugglers on death row. State your position and give the relevant reasons on how far you agree/ disagree with this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.