For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays?
Sample Response
Some people believe that the best holiday is when individuals relaxrelaxing at home, lyinglaying in their beds and watching TV or doing things that they usually cannot do because they lack timebecause of lack of their time. However, I firmly believe that the best holidaythe most fabulous holiday is to get away from people's usual routinesgo outside of people’s usual life and enjoy new experiences. This essay will discuss the advantages of spending holidays away from homespending holidays outside their homes. The first advantage of spending a holiday away from homespending holiday outside people’s usual routine is that individuals will have new experiences and as a result, positive emotionsnew positive emotions and feelings will emerge. For example, people can go to visit different countries such as France where they can visit Louvre or Eiffel Tower. DeleteThere is no doubt that after visiting such places individuals will have a strong sense of energyan enormously positive energy for a long time. The second benefit that isneeds to be taken into consideration is that people can meet different people whom they did not know before and have a great conversation. For example, when an individual goes outsidewhen individual goes outside even camping near a rivereven near the river for a camping there is a greater chance of meeting a new personmeeting new person rather than staying at home. Therefore, individuals can communicate withto each other, share their food, exchange life experiences and storiesexchange their life experience and stories. For this reason, holidays outside people’s day-to-day routine can benefit peoplepersons in a much more positive way than spendingspend holidays at home. To sum up, it is evident that there are different ways of spending holidays but the best way is to go away from people’s usual lifestyle. Holidays away from home can benefit peopleoutside could benefit people more than staying at homein a greater way rather than staying at home.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly answers the question with two relevant benefits and maintains a consistent position, supported by straightforward examples. Its impact is reduced by repetitive development, a single-paragraph structure, exaggerated or imprecise wording, and frequent article and noun-form errors. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the benefits into focused paragraphs and develop each one with a more specific explanation of how it supports wellbeing or personal growth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question and gives two relevant benefits of going away: new experiences and meeting people. Development is rather repetitive and examples are simple.
Add more specific explanation of how each benefit improves wellbeing or personal growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear order, but the essay is one long paragraph and uses repeated phrases such as the first advantage and the second benefit. Progression would be stronger with clear paragraphing.
Use one paragraph for each benefit and make the conclusion shorter and more precise.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient but sometimes overblown or inaccurate, such as most fabulous holiday and enormously positive energy. Collocation errors reduce naturalness.
Use simpler, more precise vocabulary rather than exaggerated adjectives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent errors in verb forms, articles, and singular/plural nouns. These errors are noticeable but meaning is generally clear.
Review every noun phrase for articles and plural forms, especially individual, person, holiday, and experience.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.