Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, childcare centres are a widely debated issuea very hot topic and many parents are talking about thistheir controversial issue. It is without precedence that so many mums and dads are now in the global working marker, caused in part by the remarkable phenomena of globalization that creeps in to society with ever more vigilance day by day. I think that it is regrettablea crying shame that so many loving mothers and fathers have to place their children in childcare centresleave their baby with a childcare centre. The baby will pine and crave the affectioncrave for the affections of its mother and this may lead to the baby havinghave developmental issues, such as learning and behavioral difficulties later in lifefurther down the line in later life. Moreover, these centres have been shown to be poor care providersshoddy operators with many instances of malpracticemany incidences of malpractices, such as neglect and physical and mental abuse that permanently harms infantsabuse damaging forever the true spirit of the infant. So what about the grandparents? Many grandparents look forward to the day they can relax Deleteand put their feet up without the responsibility of caring for childrenthe distraction of unruly children. However, many grandparents are fullytotally committed to the welfare of their grandchildren and enjoy spending time with themlove to see their loved ones, which clearly brightens their liveslighting up their sense of personality in an unambiguous fashion. In conclusion, it is understandable that many parents have toit is no wonder how many parents have to leave their children at home while they try to pay off mortgages and credit card bills brought about by the current geopolitical situationgeo-political set up and burgeoning financial system of developing countries. I for one will stay at home with my kids and will therefore not require the servicesservice of professionals or family membersnext of kin.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response shows ambition in its vocabulary and offers a recognisable opinion, with some attention to both childcare centres and grandparents. However, the two views are treated unevenly, key claims rely on sweeping assertions, and the final preference to stay home is not sufficiently connected to the required comparison. The priority is to organise separate, balanced arguments for each view and justify a directly responsive conclusion with specific evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both childcare centres and grandparents are mentioned, but the discussion is uneven, weakly supported, and concludes with a third option that is insufficiently justified.
Develop one fair argument for each proposed form of care and then state which of those two options is preferable and why.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an identifiable beginning and conclusion, but ideas are compressed into one paragraph and move through several tangents without clear progression.
Use separate body paragraphs for the two views and give each one a topic sentence, explanation, and relevant example.
Lexical Resource
There is considerable lexical ambition, but frequent misuse of words and collocations produces unnatural or unclear expressions.
Choose familiar, precise vocabulary and check collocations carefully instead of relying on elaborate phrases that obscure the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mixture of sentence forms, although recurring errors in complementation, agreement, modification, and punctuation weaken control.
Practise accurate verb patterns and revise long sentences so that every clause has a clear subject, verb, and grammatical connection.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.