Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Sample Response
While some believe that children should be free to make mistakes, others argue that parents should intervenepreventive measures should be taken by parents to prevent children from making harmful mistakesensure that children do nothing wrong. In my opinion, I side with the latter viewnotion.
To begin with, preventing children from making dangerous mistakeshampering children from causing mishaps is beneficial in some situationsadvantageous to an extent. First, it can prevent fatal accidentsprevent mortality in dangerous situationswhen it comes to dangerous situations such as touching an exposed wirea naked wire with wet hands or crossing the road without checking for trafficlooking at the traffic lights. Without parental guidance, children may perform these actions and harm themselves, which could be extremely probable among toddlers who have not had full control of their actions and proper understanding of their surroundings. Therefore, children should be taught essential safety knowledgeeducated on essential knowledge for survival so that they are less likely to hurt themselvesbefore they have any chance to hurt themselves.
On the other hand, advocates of allowing children to make mistakes freely also have reasons to believe thathave grounds to believe why this practice is beneficial. Firstly, children will learn to become responsible. When children face the consequences of their choicesAs children face consequences from their choices, the lessons learned will be remembered for longerthe lessons learnt will stay with them longer. This is because the repercussions can instill fear of repeating those mistakesfear of the wrongdoings ininto children and prevent them from making similar mistakestaking similar courses of action. Another point is that having the autonomy to make mistakes will sharpen children’s thinking skillsequip children with sharper minds. To be more specific, having to come up with solutions to their mistakesa solution for their mishaps will help children develop problem solving skills and build their confidence when these solutions prove effectiveshould these resolutions prove to be useful.
All in all, although parents’ intervention is beneficial in some cases, letting children learn from their mistakes has more positives for theirchildren’s development.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is logically organized and uses varied sentence structures to explain both perspectives with relevant examples. Its main limitation is the direct contradiction between the introduction, which supports adult prevention, and the conclusion, which favors learning through mistakes; the highest-priority improvement is to choose one qualified position, state its limits clearly, and sustain it consistently throughout the discussion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are relevantly developed, but the stated opinion reverses between the introduction and conclusion, leaving the overall position inconsistent.
Choose one position and make the body evaluation and conclusion consistently support that judgment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and logical progression, with cohesive devices guiding the reader effectively.
Use the transitions between views to signal how the two arguments lead to the final judgment rather than merely separating them.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, though several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Replace unnatural phrases such as hampering children from causing mishaps with simpler, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and generally well controlled, and errors rarely impede meaning.
Review clause references and preposition patterns to eliminate awkward constructions in otherwise accurate complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.